Luke Chisholm Update

Luke had his first hear surgery today. This is what my cousin posted about it:

We are sitting in the OR waiting room. After 7 and a half hours, Luke is finished with surgery and is headed up to recovery in the Pediatric Cardiovascular Intensive Care Unit. The surgeon is "cautiously optimistic".
The surgeon said that he did everything he planned to do and most of it went according to plan. He put a patch over the valve that isn't working, so blood will no longer pass through that valve into the right ventricle. Instead, blood will get to the lungs to get oxygenated through a shunt that the surgeon placed between his right atrium and the aorta. He also cut out some of Luke's right atrium because it was too big. The surgeon also closed off the artery (PDA) that they've been keeping open with medication. The PDA is important for fetal anatomy, but isn't normally used in infant anatomy. The PDA normally closes within 24 hours of birth, but in Luke, we needed to keep it open so blood could get to the lungs another way. Now that we have the shunt, we don't need the PDA to stay open anymore. No more medication that makes him sleepy or causes apnea! So Luke should be awake and alert more often once he gets off of his sedation and anesthesia meds.
Because of the surgery, Luke's heart (left atrium and ventricle) is substantially smaller (and will get still smaller as time goes on). Therefore, his lungs have more room to expand, and guess what, they are both inflated! These are all answers to prayer, and we thank you for praying them and thank God for answering them.
Some things did not go according to plan. The surgery was supposed to take between 4 and 6 hours. We left Luke to a very nice anesthesiologist at a little after 8 this morning. The anesthesiologist planned to put in several new "lines" before the actual operation started. These lines are for blood draws and giving Luke medication intravenously and some other things. Luke is notoriously difficult to "stick" and establish these IV lines. The anesthesiologist tried to get these lines in for I think over two hours and couldn't get them. So Dr. Mendeloff, our surgeon, came to the rescue and got them in. Surgery commenced about 11:00-11:30. The other thing that didn't go according to plan is that patients who have a shunt put in like Luke are prescribed baby aspirin to avoid clotting at the shunt site. Luke's been on aspirin for about 10 days, but should have come off of it temporarily 72 hours before surgery. The neonatologists never gave that order, so Luke got some doses of aspirin that he shouldn't have, and this made it pretty difficult for his blood to coagulate after surgery. Post op took a really long time.
Dr. Mendeloff came out and talked to us about the surgery and then left. About 30 minutes to 1 hour later his nurse came out and talked to us again. She explained that during the surgery Luke's heart had trouble keeping a rhythm a few times and they had to shock him. This is pretty normal during heart surgery. However, on his way up to recovery this happened again and shocking him didn't help. She explained that his heart is too sick and too tired to beat on his own right now. So they put him on a heart/lung machine just like the one he was on during surgery. This does all the work of the heart and lungs for him. She explained that Luke can be on this machine for up to 5 days. If his heart cannot do the work on its own after these five days, it means that it will not recover and Luke will die. If it can, then they will slowly ween him off the machine and then he will recover as planned. Also with this machine there is a risk of bleeding into the brain. They will do a brain scan (sonogram?) every day to monitor for this. If he does bleed into his brain, they must take him off the machine and he will have to make it on his own or die. The surgeon and cardiologist say that he still has a very good chance for recovery, so that's good news. We are very scared about this and are on pins and needles waiting for Luke to recover. Please pray.
If Luke recovers as expected, we expect Luke to be in the Pediatric ICU for 1-2 weeks (about), and then he will go back to the Neonatal ICU where he will learn to eat without a feeding tube. This time in the NICU we are told can take anywhere to a few weeks to a few months. Heart babies typically have a pretty difficult time learning to eat on their own because they tend to tire so quickly. But Luke is strong, and we have every hope that this stage in the process will go quickly. Once he can take every feeding on his own, we can, hear this, FINALLY TAKE HIM HOME!
One final thought. On Mondays Dr. Mendeloff takes part in a conference with other leading cardio and thoracic surgeons in which they share info on cases and put their heads together to make the best decisions for patients. Dr. Mendeloff presented Luke's case in this morning's conference. Once he showed them Luke's chest x-ray, the doctors could not believe that Luke survived the pregnancy with his heart as big as he did. They have never seen that before. That's the power of prayer folks. No matter what happens, Luke is a testimony of faith and the power of prayer, simply because he survived pregnancy and was born at all.
So we implore you to pray Luke through these next 5 days. We need this baby boy healthy and to continue influencing people for his kingdom.
We thank you for the prayers that have gone up today for him (and for comfort for mamma and daddy), and we ask you to keep it up.
We love you.
Blessings,
Rachael & David

Please keep this sweet family in your prayers!

KKB One Year Later

**Please pray for my cousins today as baby Luke undergoes heart surgery. I'll give more of an update when I receive one.**

So while I was sitting in my orientation on Saturday learning that I would only be given 6 hours a week to work, my little family was missing Kennedy Kate's first birthday party. So sad! To make it up to her and to allow me to get out of the house, the boys and I drove to Dallas yesterday for a little KKB play date.

The boys were thrilled that Kate can not only talk (babble if you will) but she can walk! They were beyond impressed with her skills. To add to her plethora of abilities, they taught her the delicate art of screaming. Priceless. Every child needs to learn how to scream for no other purpose than making their parent's toes curl. Point accomplished. I'm not so sure if Kate's daddy felt as joyous as the boys did in this accomplishment but boy, was it funny to hear her squeal (she's a girl so we'll say squeal) and then laugh at herself.

My handsome brood also showed their cousin how to climb atop her new "crayground" and sit on it's roof. I do think we have a bit of time before this feet is added to her repertoire, but the seed has been planted. To top off her list of all-things-Doss, Tyson demonstrated his expert urination skills. That's right. Tyson showed his baby girl cousin how to pee on the fence. Marvelous!

Things have changed a bit in a year. Here's what the play date looked like last year:


What a difference a year makes!

We love you baby Cake!

Bittersweet

Alright people, I know you have been anxious waiting for this announcement:

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wait for it
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I got a job!

Just a few catches. (You knew there had to be some, right? Right? I mean there are jobs out there or people who don't have a degree but could give you a dissertation on changing poopy diapers, mixing formula, which cereal is better due to volume of marshmallows and how many hours of Handy Manny are in fact dangerous to your health, right?) This is not a full time time position. In fact after my 5 hour orientation I was pleasantly informed that "associates" usually receive 6 hours per week.

I'm sorry. I thought you just said s-i-x. I must have been thinking of today's date. So sorry about that. Oh, right 6 hours. Per.week.

Well that's really not going to help with the unemployment status that our family has now earned. So I'm still looking. But at least I have a jobby-job. A whopping 24 hours per month, plus the 5 from today. This might take awhile kids.

There are also no benefits. Well not in the you-will-now-have-insurance-so-that-if-you-break-your-back-the-bill-won't-be-$50,000 sort of way. I will have a company discount. Which my 6 hours per week paycheck will apparently pay the difference of.

{Sigh}

I thought this was supposed to get easier as I got older. Not so much.

We're Done

Finished. Out. Finito. Gone.

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Cliche, I know, but so, so true.

I woke up this morning thinking that I was going to be feeling different. Like some cosmic force had fallen on my house in the middle of the night and changed the course of the world and we weren't going to be getting out of the Air Force and life wasn't about to take on a radical new color. But when I woke up all I thought was, this is it. And while I was in the shower I just kept thinking about all the knowledge that I have acquired while being a military spouse will never be used again; like the difference between a PX and the BX, ranks and insignias, ABUs and BDUs, blues with and without an Eisenhower jacket. See? When am I ever going to need to discuss the benefits of living on base vs off and getting BAH?

As I sat in the separations office with Stuart and the boys it didn't really dawn on me that I would never step foot in this building again, or this base for that matter. My boys wouldn't see the static displays anymore and proclaim with gusto that there was an AIRPLANE MOMMY! As I drove down the road I thought, I will never have to pull over and come to a stop for Reveille. Next time I see guards with guns I might be a little apprehensive, but not on base.

So, *to keep the memory of the military alive just a little longer, we did this:


*It wasn't really to keep the memory alive. Tucker just really wanted to have hair like his brother's and after enough whining we gave in.

So here's to the rest of our lives-clink, clink! Yes, the hard stuff is totally appropriate at 9 am.

One More Day

We have ONE MORE DAY left in our military life.
One.More.Day.
Tomorrow Stuart will become a civilian.
I will no longer be a military spouse.
I will no longer have insurance.
Yikes.
This kinda scares the _ _ _ _ out of me.
I went to the commissary for the LAST time today.
Stuart had to take my military ID and turn it in this afternoon.
I will no longer be someone's sponsor to get on base.
I will have to be sponsored.
Holy flippin' cow,
THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING.

Because it's so hot

Sleep, Right

I think that I have made it abundantly clear that I am a creature of habit. A creature of ritualistic habits to be exact. It was during my pre-sleep ritual that I realized something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

I have a hard time falling asleep at night. As soon as I lay my head down, my mind starts racing thinking about all the things that I need to do the next day, things that I want to do in the next week, reminders of what I need to add to the grocery list, checking off my done list, remembering what I need to remind Stuart of the next day...it really is exhausting. But not exhausting enough to make me fall asleep.

So I read. It really helps my mind slow down and in a short amount of time, I am more prepared to actually fall asleep. The reading thing drives Stuart nuts. He doesn't understand why anyone would need to read to get tired, not-to-mention the fact that I am always "complaining" of being tired-so just go to sleep! is his solution. Not so easy buck-o. The light, all-be-it a reading light makes him pull the covers over his head to show his disdain. (This is also pet peeve #678- covers over the head. I start hyperventilating thinking about him or anyone not being able to breath and then I visualize the claustrophobia he must be feeling from being under the covers with no way out and then I start yanking the covers down in a dramatic attempt to save his life. He thinks this is wildly funny.)

After I have filled my head with written words, I get out of bed to put my book up high (or else Scout will eat it-she's already demolished one book), jump back into bed so that the monster under the bed doesn't grab my feet, take my glasses off, turn the light out, pull the covers up to my chin, flip over to my stomach, then furiously search under the covers with my foot till I find Stuart's foot. Then I pray. I do all these things, in this exact order, every night.

It was during my prayer that I realized something was wrong. My mind started wandering, yet again, but this time it was about my blog. My blog? MY BLOG. Seriously. I was lying there writing out my next blog(s) and trying to come up with just the right wording, something witty, anything funny, scenarios that might relate to someone else's life-are you kidding me? Prayer Clarissa! This is not the appropriate time for this!

It was also during this internal dialogue that the first clap of thunder sounded. Crap! Not now! I am such a baby, I love to sleep during the rain but I like for it to start after I fall asleep otherwise I get so scared of all the noises that I want to pee my pants and throw myself into Stuart. Literally into him. Because that would be the safest place.

Speaking of pee, Tyson peed in his bed again last night. Hmm, two nights in a row. This has never happened before. But last night as I tore thru the kitchen yet again, I was much quicker in going from OMG my child is being kidnapped and he has no cell phone! to Turbo's sleeping in the living room and he would totally rip an intruder in two to oh, Tyson peed in his bed, again. It was a much better transition than the night before.

Much to my surprise, when I awoke this morning to Stuart's ridiculously loud getting-ready-for-school, that I dreamed about blogging. Actual dream. This is getting out of hand.

The Simple Things

I got a new door. A NEW DOOR! You might remember what happened when I went away for a couple of days here. It's been a rough go without a door to my room but I guess in the bigger picture Tyson really needed a door and I was ok with going without for awhile. But no more! Since Stuart is all-things-fix-it, he finally made his way to Home Depot or Lowe's, I honestly don't know, and came home with a new door for Tyson.

Unfortunately his epiphany to make the house whole again came at 7:30 pm on Saturday night. Coupled with the fact that the door required an hour of adjusting and tweaking to fit into our 80-year-old-custom door frame, it was a little past the boy's bedtime before the door was officially put on. And it still doesn't have a knob, or a hole for a knob but that's A-okay. Baby steps here. And I have a door again! The simple things really do get to me.

On a completely separate note, Tyson woke up at 2:37 am this morning in an all out shriek. I jumped out of bed and tore thru the kitchen with one thought running thru my head: Tyson was being kidnapped and he had no cell phone to tell me about it! (Have I mentioned that I can't, I mean literally CAN NOT watch scary movies? I have always had vivid, wild dreams but when I got pregnant my dreams took on a whole new dimension. Watching a scary movie just became out of the questions because of the nightmares that I would have for days (and years, I still have some) afterwards. So much so that I can't even watch or listen to a preview for a scary movie. Stuart knows now to mute the tv and tell me when I can look again. Yes, it's that bad. Either way, we decided to rent and watch "Taken" Saturday night. I had heard that it's wasn't scary so much as it was suspenseful plus it got really great reviews...so we watched. 1) I am so glad that I don't have a daughter, 2) Stuart would totally learn to use some "skills" if we did, 3) um, hello!, now I'm having dreams about kidnapping.)

I had run thru every scenario of how I was going to deal with some mongrel that had broken into our house and was taking my baby out with him in the 15 seconds it took me to get to his room. When I threw open the door, I realized: He was still in his room! He was without an intruder! I didn't have to buy a cell phone for my three year old! He had peed all over himself! Oh, wait. He peed all over himself.

I wasn't mad because this was like his 3rd accident since potty training started and he's done so well that he doesn't wear a pull-up to bed. But it did mean that I had to fully wake up so that I could change his clothes, his sheets and sneak into Tucker's room to get a fresh set of sheets for his bed.

By the time I made it back into bed I was thinking about the scene in "The Strangers" where Liv Tyler is running thru the woods...another very poor judgement in movie selection.

Shout Outs:
Noise makers-thank you for providing enough noise to sneak into rooms.
Vinyl fitted sheets-peeing in the bed is not quite as awful with you.
Doors-you just need some sometimes.
Fans-it is so.stinkin.hot outside! but you take the edge off.

Socks

...and this is what happens when boys dress themselves.

Splish Splash

When in doubt, brake

I openly admit that I am not a good driver. I am not a bad driver, but not good none-the-less. So it was with much apprehension that I drove home this Monday. We were coming back home in two vehicles so I really had no choice. I must also warn you that I can not drive long distances at night. It just doesn't work. I get sleepy and...yeah. Not good. But I drove and thus compiled a list of sorts.

Things I surmised while driving home for 8 hours:

1. People who don't use cruise control are dumb.
2. The car that's behind the person not using cruise control that won't pass therefore causing 9 cars to pile up is also dumb, very dumb. And irritating.
3. People that brake incessantly on the highway are dumb. Keep an appropriate distance between you and the car in front of you. Better yet, use your cruise control.
4. People who drive motorcycles without helmets get what's coming. I'm not endorsing hitting a man on a motorcycle and then laughing at him, I'm just saying he's dumb for not wearing a helmet.
5. US 281 N is pretty much the most boring drive ever.
6. Trying to convince your 3 year old son who just learned how to pee in the potty to use a public bathroom is not fun. Especially when you have his 2 year old brother trying to lay down on the said bathroom floor. Yuck!
7. Am I the only person that still employs the "nice-Texas-drivers-pull-onto-the-shoulder-so-that-the-speeding-car-behind-you-can-pass" law? Maybe it's not law but I still like it.
8. Ford Rangers with smoke stacks are dumb.
9. Small towns that make you slow from 70 to 55 to 45 to 35 mph are dumb.
10. There are only 2 Starbucks between San Antonio and Wichita Falls. This is dumb.

Mish Mash

Happy 1st Birthday Scout!

Happy 3rd Anniversary Marci & Scott!

One Year

It's been a year. A year. Wow, that just sounds odd. And incredible all at the same time.

So as many of you know, my MIL (mother-in-law) passed away very unexpected May 26, 2008. She had been experiencing severe bleeding Friday night (May 23) and was rushed to the ER very early Saturday morning. She went into surgery sometime Saturday morning and it was found that she had a huge ulcer that grew into the artery that feeds her spleen had ruptured and she was/had been bleeding internally. Her artery was "fixed" and she was sent to the ICU. Please pardon my lack of correct medical terminology. The entire family was called and everyone rushed to get to her side (my little family and my brother-in-law's (BIL) family are the only ones that don't live in San Antonio so we had to get there fast). We arrived sometime around 3 pm, dropping off Stuart at the hospital on the way to my parent's house. After getting the boys settled, I drove up to be with everyone and see my MIL.
She was hooked up to every imaginable wire and line but she was still alive. We weren't sure if she could hear us or not, so we tried to talk quietly or include her in the conversation. It was so surreal. I remember at one point my BIL was recounting the Spurs game for her (we're all big fans!). No one ate or drank the every flowing Starbucks in her room, because if she could smell it we didn't want her to feel hungry. After several hours, we all decided to head to our respective home-away-from homes and meet up again in the morning.
Sunday morning, the boys and I got ready and went to church with my parents while Stuart went up to the hospital to be with his dad and mom. Afterwords he met us for lunch at Red Robin. He was optimistic about his mom and that her stats were "stable." We said goodbye and he headed back to the hospital and I back to my parent's to put the boys down for a nap. After the boys woke up we decided to go to Wal-Mart (do you really have to have a reason to go?). We were in the toothpaste aisle when my phone rang. It was Stuart. I needed to go pick up my BIL-NOW. He was at my MIL's parent's house and had left his car at the hospital. Stuart couldn't really talk except to say that the dr had just been in and things were not good.
We rushed out of the store. Broke several speed limits to get to my BIL. Somehow got him up to the hospital and us back to my parent's. I called Stuart when I got to my parent's and he said that I needed to get up there too. The drs had done everything that they could. My MIL's body just couldn't handle the amount of blood loss and her organs were shutting down.
No, no, no!
This can not be happening.
I arrived sometime around 7 pm. Her room was very dark. Almost everyone was there. We were all very quiet. Tears ran freely. My FIL asked that no one else be allowed back so that we could be with her privately. The nurses were wonderful. They moved in and out without a sound. Sometime around midnight, after every test had been run, after every chart had be scrutinized, my FIL made the call to have her taken off of the ventilator. We circled around her bed and prayed her into God's arms. She took her final breath, on her own at 12:30 am, May 26, Memorial Day.
I will never forget watching her father cry. It was the first time I had every seen him be anything but happy.
I will never forget my strong husband bending down over his mother to give her one final kiss.
I will never forget running to meet my SIL in the parking lot and holding onto her for dear life.
I will never forget my BIL sitting in the hospital waiting room explaining to his daughter, that her Nana was now with God and the sobs that escaped from her mouth almost tore me in two. And the way that she ran to her Papa when he came around the corner.
I will never forget thinking how much this sucked.
I will never forget going back to my parent's house at 4 am and wondering how the world was still existing.
But it was. And we were.

After Saturday comes Sunday--Max Lucado (a very botched version of his wonderful sermon Easter 2009. This sermon was so profound and made all over us cry.)

So here I am almost a year later. I still feel many of these feelings. More so now.
I miss Jennifer. I miss her a lot.
My heart is absolutely ripped out of me when Stuart, on a very rare occasion, talks about her being gone.
I ache that my children don't know or remember her. They loved her. But they are just so young. When Tyson looks at a picture of her he either asks who she is or names another family member in her place.
I am mad that my FIL is already remarried. I'm sure his new wife is great. But I don't know her. And right now if I'm honest, I don't want to get to know her. I just can't fill that spot yet.
I'm frustrated that I feel this way. But I do.
I cry knowing that my MIL and I didn't always get along. I wish I would have let things go.
I really hope she has a window in heaven so that she can see that we love her and miss her so very, very much.
I want her to know that my boys WILL know her as they get older.
I can't believe that we survived a year. How could we do that?

No Good, Very Bad...Yeah

We are in San Antonio. This is good because the boys get to see Mimi and Peepaw and be spoiled to the utmost extent. This is bad because Tuesday marks the year anniversary of Jennifer's (my MIL) death. Oh, and we brought the rain with us to San Antonio. Good for San Antonio. Bad for Doss boys and their outside play.

So this morning started off with a bang. As in bang!, it's 6:45 am and your children are awake and you didn't go to bed till after 1:30 am since you had one of the worst nights ever and therefore spent most of the night crying instead of sleeping. Yeah, I was really ready to get up this morning.

After feeding the boys breakfast (and waiting till 7:45 am), I decided to go upstairs and wake up Stuart so that he could watch the boys so that I could take a shower and be out of everyone's way and make getting ready for church that much easier. Apparently waking up my dear husband was not on his agenda. I lovingly allowed the boys to jump into bed and inform daddy to "wake up!!" Aren't I nice?

Upon leaving the shower, I was greeted by a half sleeping husband still in bed and my children destroying the bedroom. Are you kidding me? I think there may have been some choice words for my honey as to why he was still sleeping and not with the children downstairs. He might have given me one of those looks and he rolled out of bed and gathered our offspring.

We arrived at church 20 minutes early. This is good. It normally takes a bit of time to get the boys checked into their classes and now there's a new computer check-in system to add to the mess. Once inside, we are greeted by the oldest children's worker ever, who doesn't know how to use the computer to check us in. Great. I may have rolled my eyes a couple of dozen times and I might have reminded the kind, unhelpful woman that we were in fact visitors but not for the 1st time, we had filled out paperwork for the boys on several previous occasions and no we didn't live in San Antonio. 12 minutes later (and yes I did check my watch) we were finally walking Tyson to his room. 1 down. As we walk up to Tucker's door, he immediately starts pulling my hand back and saying, "don wan it, don wan it." Come on, please? "No, no, no!" "They have play-doh Tuck!" "No, no, no mommy! Don wan it!" So we decide to un-register Tucker and take him to service with us. It's now 3 till 10:00 am.

Wouldn't you know, the auditorium is full! Hooray!

As we walk out the doors, Stuart decides that we should just go pick up Tyson and go back home. Fine, whatever. It's not like my former boss was preaching or anything.

So we make our way back thru the church and down the Tyson's room. When we get to the door, we watch Tyson playing so sweetly and ask if maybe Tucker could just go in the room with Tyson since that's what they are used to at our church. Sure! Alright, re-check-in Tucker, usher him into Tyson's room and make our way back upstairs.

Auditorium's full. Overflow room #1's full. Overflow room #2's full. But we can watch the sermon from the coffee area! Ah, no thank you. So...back to get the boys and check-out. It's now 10:20 am.

In the next hour, I take the boys outside to the playground where Tucker flips off the swing and lands on his head, break my shoe walking out to the van and have an entire carton of milk dropped on the floor while trying to get Tyson to summon the courage to use a public bathroom.

Did I mention that it has rained everyday since we got here?

Round Two

So last night I had another interview. The 2nd interview in about a month. It was a far cry better than my 1st interview. This was a bit different though. It was a group interview. I have never had anything like this. Not that I have been involved in many interviews; I have had a panel interview, but this was a group of 6 all vying for the same positions. Interesting. I think it went rather well. The interviewer did inform us that the company did not have a set number of hires right now so there is a very real possibility that all 6 would/could be hired. That's just fancy talk for, "I'm not going to tell you to your face that we are only looking to hire 1 or 2 people right now and I want you all to go home and start telling everyone that you got the job, turn down any other offers you might receive from other companies and then wallow in misery when this company doesn't call you to let you know you have been hired. Thanks for coming!"

Now, for no other purpose than to make you smile, I feel compelled to tell you a little about the other interviewees. It's so fun!

There were 6 of us in all and we were all women. Yeah. There was me, who quite frankly is perfect in every way, wait did I type that out load? Hehe. #2 was a nice woman, probably in her 40's who is an elementary school counselor. She's just looking for a summer job and maybe something small to do during the school year since her kids are grown. #3 was a woman a little younger than me who has 4 young kids (she didn't say how young, but I introduced my self before her and said that I had two young boys ages 3 and 2 and so I can only assume that hers are about the same age) at home, is single and just quit working at the new Jack-In-The-Box (seriously, the place just opened 3 months ago). #4 was a high school girl who was just looking for a summer job. Her name is Shady. Seriously. I had to bite my tongue. #5 was also a high schooler, who is graduating next week and also looking for a summer job and her name is Brunette. As in the hair color. Ha! #6 was a very nice young girl who just finished her freshman year at Hardin Simmons (and yes I asked if she knew anybody from ACU) and is home for the summer, also looking for a summer job. Poor thing, she was scared to death. She has never had a job and I think this was either her first interview or at least one of her first. She was shaking and I really just wanted to give her a hug and tell her is was ok.

So now en lies the question: will Clarissa ever get a job?

We are moving into the danger zone now. Stuart started his out processing yesterday and will most likely be out of the Air Force and jobless by Friday. One week from now. 7 days. 168 rough hours.

The kicker is I have no clue as to what I want to do. Really. There are a plethora of options and a lot of things sound really interesting. There are really only two key things that I need: 1) a job that can offer benefits or at least pay me enough that I can buy private insurance and 2) a job that will allow me to not have to put the boys in daycare (i.e. something after 1 pm and before 2 am). Not too much to ask.

The insurance thing is mildly important. Stuart will be receiving insurance from the VA (for life actually) and we are going to get insurance for the boys thru the state. That just leaves little 'ole me. For all the negatives of the military, one of the biggest positives was the insurance. I mean after you deal with the ever-changing staff, ridiculous wait times, lack of a range of medications and probable referral to another doctor or the ER, the coverage was great.

As for daycare, I think I have touched on this subject before but if I haven't then bottom line is I don't want to put my kids there. It's not that I think daycare is bad. If I have to, I will utilize it. But Stuart and I have worked so hard over the past almost 4 years to keep the boys at home. And I want to raise them here.

I will say that we have been looking into Tues/Thurs and Preschool programs for Tyson to start going to in the fall. We just haven't made a concrete decision yet.

And where does that leave me now? I have sent out 10+ applications. I have had 2 interviews. The clock is ticking.