Now THAT'S a forecast

Snooze, cont....

So you might remember my lack of affection for the snooze. No? Well, I hate it. I mean, I REALLY hate it. I just don't understand why we need it. If you want to wake up at 6:30 am, set your alarm for that time. If you want to wake up at 6:57 am, then set your alarm for that time. What does the snooze accomplish? A lot of waking up and general fussiness from me.

Unfortunately my husband is quite the snooze user. So this morning I got to have an exclusive:

Me: Hon, (as I kick him) you have GOT to get up.
Snooze abuser: hmph
Me: Hon, seriously. GET UP.
Snooze abuser: (rolling over)
Me: I just don't get this.
Snooze abuser: (taking off his C-Pap) What?
Me: You. I just don't understand why you set your alarm so early.
Snooze abuser: Because I want to have enough time to get up.
Me: See, that's just the problem. The millisecond that alarm starts to go off, I'm up. And I stay that way. Why don't you take extra time in the shower or while your eating breakfast?
Snooze abuser: Sounds like a personal problem.
Me: No, no, no. You so don't get to turn this around on me.
Snooze abuser: What?? (as he's trying to grab up my shirt)
Me: Oh my gracious are you kidding me?
Snooze abuser: What??

As you can see there is no getting thru to the snooze abuser. Do you think we can have an intervention for this?

Happy Fall Y'all!

Omen

I woke up this morning and stepped in dog vomit. Fun.

On a much better note, Luke went home last night!! Hallelujah!

And for those of you that just want a really good laugh, check this out.

Can't I get a break?

After a long night in which my co-worker got sick (literally) minutes after I got to work and had to call the on-call person who then had to scramble to find someone to come in at 11:30 pm who would then work till 7 am, I came home to hell.

I know, whoa Clarissa! Why such strong language? This is why:

Upon arriving at my house this morning, I am greeted by Tyson screaming gibberish at me. Tucker is no where. Stuart is grasping at things under the kitchen sink. My couch is naked. And the dogs are hiding.

Clue #1-something is not right.

Apparently Tucker woke up early again and decided to have some fun at our home's expense. I'm not sure of the order of events but it went something like this:

• Tucker dumped out the contents of Stuart's backpack
• He then found the Sharpie and proceeded to take notes in one of Stuart's textbooks
• He fanned out all 100 note cards and possibly took notes on them as well
• He decided to turn his body into artwork and decorated his arms, face and feet
• Giving up the Sharpie, he decided to look for a good DVD
• And dumped the entire drawer of DVDs on the floor (amazingly only cracking one)
• Not able to choose a suitable cinematic score, he decided to investigate the kitchen
• And found some oil/grease spray
• He then lubed up the couch/ottoman/floor/and scattered DVDs

At this time Tyson wakes up and finds the colossal mess that Tucker has made and runs into our bedroom to wake up Stuart. Stuart comes out and is completely dumbfounded by the ruins that is now our living room. He claims he never heard Tucker. Right. (And might I just add that I always hear things. Like ALWAYS. I'm just saying.)
And now?

Now I am home alone since my handsome husband had to go to school; left picking up the pieces of my shattered house while functioning on no sleep.

The good news?

The boys got their Halloween costumes in the mail and are currently running around screaming "RROOAARR" and "ARRR." Can you guess what they are?

The story of my life

Wear

Wash
Dry
Fold
Away
Repeat

$3.00

My husband is a brilliant, ridiculously smart man. However he does something that is so utterly stupid (I know, I'm not supposed to say "stupid" but this really warrants it) I can not fathom how his Einstein brain registers it.

He tips at a drive thru.

Let's look at this again: he tips, as in gives an extra amount of money that might or might not be equal to 20% of the total at a food establishment in which he is driving thru to procure his fillings.

The man gave a $3 tip at a drive thru. (and no this was not Sonic. I have very different feelings when it comes to tipping the car hop at Sonic because he/she actually brings the food out to your car vs. standing at a sliding window and shoving food that has been haphazardly crammed into a bag into your face while you are attempting to hand over your form of payment so that you won't forget and drive off with unpaid food. Clearly the car hop at Sonic is doing something, although now that they have credit cards machines on the ordering screen, it makes it really difficult to give a tip since I never have cash. Sorry.)

I'm not sure what is more appalling, the fact that he gave a monetary tip to a person at a drive thru or the fact that the tip was three whole dollars.

Either way, we have had this discussion before. Not only is it ludicrous to give a tip at a drive thru BUT it also throws my checkbook balance completely out of whack. And you know never to mess with a woman and her balanced checkbook.

Shout Outs:
Online banking-my perfect mate.
Tupperware-you + kids = great.
High of 80-yeah, yeah.

Apparently he's been in a good mood lately

Get Out

You have got to be kidding! This story is so unbelievably unbelievable that I had to post it. (Just click on the photo to see the story)
And I thought I was doing good with my little 9 pound babies. Geesh!

Teamwork

This and That

I've spent the last couple of days cleaning things out.
Yeah!
Tucker's 3T clothes have to be separated out and sent to CB.
Tyson's 4T clothes have to be separated and some moved to Tucker's closet.
Summer shoes have to be pulled out and fall/winter shoes located and/or purchased.
Coats and hoodies have to be pulled out and/or purchased.
The dogs need new winter collars.
The yard needs a desperate cleaning out/weeding before everything really dies.
Oh, and my blog got a little fall face-lift. :)

Have you taken a gander over here to check on Luke? He should be going home soon!
Also, can you pray for this family? He's a pilot in the Air Force. His wife was diagnosed with cancer in March and also found out they were pregnant with their first child in the same month. Their daughter was born September 8 (a month early). His wife passed away yesterday morning.

Shout Outs:
Warranties-Stuart dropped and broke his phone this weekend.
Adjustable waist straps-long legs/tiny waist=my kids.
Fall-LOVE this weather!

Because

Tyson: Mommy, I want to go outside and play.
Me: Baby, we can't go outside because it's raining.
Tyson: Why mommy?
Me: Because it's raining and it's cold outside.
Tyson: But why is it raining?
Me: Because God wanted it to rain today.
Tyson: But why did God want it to rain?
Me: Because God knows that we need rain.
Tyson: But why did God make it rain?
Me: Because he wants the grass to get one more drink of water before winter.
Tyson: But why does the grass need more water?
Me: I'm not sure.
Tyson: So why did God give it more water?
Me: Because God knows more than mommy.
Tyson: Does God know more than Daddy?
Me: Yup. God knows everything.
Tyson: He knows more than daddy? Wow.
Me: I know, pretty fun huh?
Tyson: Does God know about cars?
Me: Uh huh.
Tyson: Wow.

Home Sweet Not MY Home

Yesterday Stuart found 3 baby kittens in the dumpster behinde our house. They were so tiny he didn't want to chance leaving them, so he climbed on in and pulled them out. The boys were immediately smitten and spent a good chunk of time outside boy-handling them. At one point Tucker put one of the kittens in the back of his truck and drove it around the yard. Tyson kept proclaiming, "they're just the sweetest thing I eber did seen mommy!"

Unfortunately mommy is allergic to kitty-kats so they couldn't stay. Stuart put an add up on Craigslist and within minutes someone offered to give them a good home. I wasn't home for the hand-off but apparently there were some tears shed and someone may have promised their son that they could go look at the kitties later. (Not sure where that someone plans on taking his son to do this...)

And yes Aunt Misty and Dr. Bri, we washed our hands really well after playing with them!

Here's a Tip...

• Don't bring your 6 month old child into the ER complaining of 104 fever at 2 am and then be utterly shocked when your child's temp is in fact 98.7 and you indeed have to wait to see the doctor for more than 10 minutes
• Don't expect to go to the back of the ER when you have beaten the ambulance which is carrying your mother in. Sorry that you didn't just drive her yourself.
• Don't expect that if you come into the ER by ambulance that you are automatically going to be seen as soon as you enter thru the doors. That's not the way it works.
• Don't assume that if the waiting room is empty that the back of the ER is empty too. We have 37 rooms + 6 hall beds; they might all be full.
• Don't assume that if the waiting room is full that the wait time in the ER is 7 hours. All those people in the waiting room could be family members for one patient.
• Don't bring your entire family with you to the ER. The rooms are small. And the waiting room gets crowded.
• Don't leave your two year old unattended so that you can _______. NEVER leave your child alone.
• Don't assume that the person sitting next to you complaining of stomach pain is any less important than you are. He/she may have more than just stomach pains. And you may not, in fact have the worst illness known to man.
• Don't jump out of a moving vehicle. No matter what you think, the end result is not going to be pretty.
• Don't underestimate the power of vomit.

Post Birthday Letdown

I remember growing up being so sad the day after my birthday. It was no longer my birthday. I mean, really could life be any sadder? Well except for that Christmas is a whopping 4 days after my birthday so there was naturally something bigger and better to be excited about, but still it wasn't my birthday.

So naturally I'm feeling that same let down for my son. It's no longer his birthday. It's just another regular 'ole day in the life of a 4 year old. Man, four years old. That's just inconceivable but yet here he is, all grown up and 1461 days old. Geez...

Let's reminisce about yesterday then shall we?

We woke up at a nice and early time of 6:12 am. Tyson came bounding into out room and proclaimed "I'm TWO!" Apparently he thinks birthdays go backwards in years. We have gotten him to admit that's he's actually four but it's yet to be seen if that knowledge will stick. So up we all got (including daddy who didn't quite understand why he too had to get out of bed but was nudged very sweetly from his wife); the boys tore off into the living room to open presents while I snapped photos.






It took Tyson all of 30 seconds to get into all his presents and then the meltdown began. Tucker didn't understand why he also couldn't open presents and Tyson wanted no part of Tucker even breathing on his new treasures. The dogs were beyond confused with all the energy bouncing off the walls and Stuart just wanted to go back to bed. I slaved away in the kitchen making pancakes, which Tyson didn't even touch because he was too engrossed in newness and Scout made it her personal mission to eradicate our house of the monstrous balloon beast.

Playing took over most of the morning which allowed me a few minutes to sneak into the attic and locate my sewing machine (I really need to hem my work pants and a few other do dads and just haven't been inclined to make the trek up the boat stairs and dig around in the bowels of the northern most point of our house). That feat accomplished, I unearthed the boys jeans (seriously, it was actually cool enough for pants! Dare I say fall is here?) and loaded them up in search of party supplies. Just plates, napkins (which are still unopened) and plastic utensils-which we got in blue because Tyson did not want the ones that said Happy Birthday.

Lunch was a happy treat of new lunchables. The boys are bonkers for the new lunchables that have water with koolaid mix and jello. My vacuum cleaning decided to give up the ghost just as I finished in the living room which afforded Tucker is greatest dream realized-having his own "real" vacuum cleaner to play with. This also means that I have approximately 1 day to find a replacement vacuum since the dog hair is currently laughing at me.

One of Tyson's friends came over for dinner and also realized one of Stuart's dreams-a remote control car for Tyson.

Pizza, cake, ice cream, and juice filled us all as well as screams and shouts and laughing and playing.

Then it was off to bed where I'm sure that neither child realized that today was going to be just a normal day.

For Stuart and I the night continued with the season premiere of Survivor (you can laugh but I have watched every single season and I am not about to give it up now) and The Office. And what's next you ask?? Stuart's birthday. He turns 31 on October 9. But I'm just not sure if he's going to get the Speedracer cake or the Moosetracks ice cream.