31 March 2010


Two weekends ago I was getting ready for work when in runs Tyson from outside needing to use the bathroom (remember that we are sharing one bathroom still).

Me: {putting make-up on}
Tyson: {getting the potty seat on the toilet}
Tyson: Mommy, what's that?
Me: Oh, this is mommy's make-up...
Tyson: No, what's that?
Me: {following Tyson's pointed finger} Uh, well.
Tyson: What are those bumps mommy?
Me: Hmm. Those bumps are things that mommy's have.
Tyson: But I have them on my tummy too! They're littler though.
Me: Yes, that IS right.
Tyson: Why are yours bigger mommy?
Me: {seriously?}
Tyson: Do all mommy's have bumps?
Me: Yes, all mommy's have bumps. But we don't talk about our bumps because they are private and we don't talk about them.
Tyson: Like my pee-pee is private?
Me: Yes! That's exactly right.
Tyson: But YOU don't have a pee-pee.
Me: No, mommy doesn't.
Tyson: So why are your bumps so big?
Me: {where is Stuart?}
Tyson: Huh????
Me: Well, that's just that way God made mommy.
Tyson: Why did God made you like that?
Me: Because that's the way he did.
Tyson: Does daddy have bumps like me too?
Me: Why don't you go ask him?

Lesson learned: it's time to start covering up when getting ready.

30 March 2010

Sometimes I would like ear protection too

29 March 2010


I WILL catch that mouse/rat/rodent/animal that has been lurking in the shadows-I WILL!
I the meantime, this is what we do every night.
And every night since we have started this ritual we wake up empty handed.
And every morning Stuart checks the traps upstairs and comes down with nothing.
On a lighter note, this is the way I started my morning. Well, after the 6:37 am wake up call compliments to Tyson.

28 March 2010

Danny, Donnie, Joey, Jonathan, Jordan

Last night we were perusing thru our channels when we came upon something epic. I mean HUGE. Ginormous.
It's a NKOTB 15 year Reunion Tour.
You heard that right. New Kids On The Block.

As in the boy band that everyone else could listen to but I wasn't allowed to because they jir-rated their hips and my parents thought this profane. And oh my gracious was I jealous of every little girl that had NKOTB pillow cases and posters and cassettes and could jump and dance around just like Danny, Donnie, Joey, Jonathan and Jordan.

Well guess what? All those little girls and now moms and are sporting NKOTB gear at their reunion tour. Bam!
The year:1994
And now: 2010

For your information, while all the other cool kids were listening to these fine young boys, I had Debbie Gibson and Amy Grant on auto play in my Walkman. Oh yeah.

27 March 2010

Bed Hog

So it's no surprise that when you get married there's some adjusting when it comes to the way you sleep. Overnight you not only are married but you have to share a bed with someone else. Someone who snores.

And smells.
And is bigger than you.
And takes up all the bed.
And is a boy.
The injustices just keep adding up.

But somewhere in the span of time that is a marriage you learn to cope and overcome these obstacles. Your husband might get diagnosed with sleep apnea and then start wearing a CPap at night which kinda eliminates the snoring. Check. You draw an invisible line in the mattress and if one crosses that line the other has complete person to shove, kick, or poke the offender until the offending parts are restored to their side. Check. You can't really do much about being bigger or being a boy so we'll just leave those items shelved for now.

Then this funny thing happens. One of the mates gets a job that requires them to work at night so that the other partner is left alone.
To sleep alone.
To have the entire bed to themselves.
To pick up all those alone-sleeping habits.

And then we have to start at square one all over again.

Apparently when one's wife goes to work at night and one's husband goes to sleep by himself, he invites the dogs into bed with him. And then when one's wife has the night off and tries to go to bed with said husband, the aforementioned dogs get very protective of their new found soft, cushy, plush bed. And then all hell breaks loose.

That's right. Not only am I having to reclaim MY spot on the bed; I am having to fight with two 80 pound creatures that don't speak human let alone English and barely lift their heads up to acknowledge that I am, in fact there and would like to get in bed. And then that dear husband of mine just lifts the covers, slides into bed on his side, you know since the monsters that are my dogs are on MY side and thus cause no problem for that charmer known as Stuart to enter into the bed. And after 10 minutes of trying to be nice and gently push the dogs off the bed, I finally have to give up and use my mean mommy voice which elicits growling and baring of teeth and then all I want to do is jump up and down, put marshmallows in my mouth and start spewing whiteness across the room in hopes that someone will notice that I need help and someone will remember that I am home and do in fact need to get into the bed.

Finally after huffing and puffing and blowing my dogs down, I get into bed.

Guess who's crossed the invisible line?

Me: Move over!
Stuart: Huh?
Me: Move over, please. You're in the middle of the bed.
Stuart: Oh, I forgot that you were home tonight.

That's right. He forgot I was home.

26 March 2010

Tyson and March 26

with Aunt Marci
with Daddy
chatting with Daddy
Where did my little boy go?

24 March 2010

For Your Information

We have NOT caught our uninvited guest. But he's still residing somewhere in our house as evidenced by his little gifts. And yes we do have traps of the sticky AND "snappy" variety out. Stuart did quite the eye opening demonstration for the boys on what would happen to little fingers if they touched the "snappy" traps. I must say, ouch! He also did place peanut butter (not cheese) on the traps as many of you had mentioned. But so far, he/she is still happy and alive.

After much thought and talking and thought and talking, Stuart has decided to stay at MSU for one more year and also get his BA in Accounting. He'll have his BA in Finance at the end of summer and while that's great and wonderful, he can do so much more if he also gets the double major. Since he still has time left on the GI Bill and since I have a good job with benefits, this just seems like the best time to do this. But he was very willing to offer that if the fall semester starts and he just wants to stop everything and get a job, he can/will since he will in fact have a degree. (phew) So while I am more than ready to get outta the falls, at least that means we have one more year to finish all our household projects.

Speaking of projects, you might be wondering about our epic bathroom redo. Just keep wondering. But there is electricity in there now. So Tyson can see when he's peeing. Yay!

Oh and can you say a prayer for my sister's father-in-law? He was diagnosed with Follicular Lymphoma a couple of weeks ago and tests have not come back very favorable. She's written about some of it here.

Last night in a moment of pure calamity, Stuart deleted everything off our hard drive. Luckily there wasn't much on it that was needed but he did manage to delete the boy's "right now" movie which led to a few tears this morning.

On a completely separate note, Stuart already getting tan from playing outside with the boys.

23 March 2010

Sometimes I just have to shake my head

Here we are playing outside on Thursday

And here's what happened on Saturday

See any problems?

21 March 2010

To Do List for the Week

  1. Work
  2. Sleep
  3. Eat
  4. Pretend to be a mom
  5. Pretend to be a wife
*In no particular order

Happy Birthday Mom!

20 March 2010

Uninvited Guest

We have an uninvited guest. Actually he is not altogether invited. If in fact he is really a he at all; I would loathe to think the he is a she but that's a whole 'nother can of worms that I just don't want to think about.

So this guest.
It's a mouse. (Or maybe a rat, we're not quite sure)


[n. mous; v. mouz] Show IPA noun,pluralmice [mahys] Show IPA, verb,moused, mous·ing.
any of numerous small Old World rodents of the family Muridae, esp. of the genus Mus, introduced widely in other parts of the world.
any similar small animal of various rodent and marsupial families.
a quiet, timid person.
Computers. a palm-sized, button-operated device that can be slid on wheels or ball bearings over a desktop to move the cursor on a CRT to any position, or slid over a drawing in order to recreate the drawing on a CRT.Compare joystick(def. 2).
Informal. a swelling under the eye, caused by a blow or blows; black eye.
Slang. a girl or woman.

I'm gonna go ahead and take a detour here for a second. Did you happen to notice definition #6? Wow. I never knew. How ridiculously interesting and somehow insulting at the same time.

So this mouse (or possibly rat) is very cunning and has somehow never been seen. But we have evidence of it's existance. I am very sorry to say that it's happenings have not only been in the attic as one might think but also in the kitchen (a fact that haunts me and makes me want to crawl out of my skin because ewwwww!). I will say that the only time we have noted this little rascal being in the kitchen it while we were away for the weekend and thus the house was void of all screaming, running and playing by dogs and children alike.

In an attempt to keep my from having a nervous breakdown (because THERE'S A MOUSE IN MY HOUSE), Stuart kindly bought some diversions in which said rodent would/could be picked up and removed from our house. As of yet, there has been no removal.

People, there's a mouse (A MOUSE) in my house and we can't catch him. If ever there was a time that I wanted a cat, NOW IS IT. But then it might catch it and deposit said guest at my doorstep or bathroom or kitchen floor or couch in an attempt to leave a gift for roalty and then I would really loose it.

And yes, Stuart is solely responsible for removal and said marsupial. I get the ebby-jibbies just thinking about it.

19 March 2010

Daddy Jr #2

18 March 2010

This is the chair that inmates built

No. Really.

Inmates built this chair.
While we were stationed at Nellis AFB, I worked at the Arts & Crafts Center.
Nellis was unique in that it also housed a prison.
The prisoners worked various jobs on base.
The Arts & Crafts Center "employed" 13 inmates.
I was personally responsible for 4.
They built this rocking chair for me when I was pregnant with Tyson.
Unfortunately, this chair has been all but ruined in the elements.
But it still makes a great rocket ship.

17 March 2010


Tyson: You're a cheeseburger!

Tucker: No I not!
Tyson: Yes you are Tucker! You're a cheeseburger with cheese!
Tucker: No I Tucker Tyson!
Tyson: You're a cheeseburger with ketchup!
Tucker: NO I NOT!
Tyson: You're a cheeseburger with....pickles!
Tucker: Yuck Tyson.

One day I will longer look back at this name calling and wish for it back. But today, not so much.

15 March 2010

Mis Padres

Married 35 years ago.
Still blissfully happy.
Here's to y'all on your day!

14 March 2010

I'm Packin'

That's right, we have guns and I may know how to use them.

Well, I can point and shoot.
My husband can load it.
And I can hit you if you are 3 yards away.
But give a girl some credit.
This was my first time shooting a handgun.
(Only second time shooting a gun)
Oh and don't worry about the first shot.
It wasn't even on the board.

12 March 2010

My Husband

Doing what he does best.

11 March 2010


So last night I had a first.

I had to work and Stuart had school (no surprise there); so as soon as he came home at 3:45 pm I scurried off to bed. Wednesday, Mondays and Fridays are always more difficult for me to sleep since I slept the night before but never-the-less, I headed off to bed. Shortly there after I was awoken by Tyson coming into the room so that he could use the bathroom. Have I mentioned the one bathroom we're sharing yet? Just checking. From then on, I had a fitful sleep and finally just got up at 8 because there was no going back to sleep and if I wasn't going to be able to catch some z's before work I might, at least, tuck the kids into bed and spend a few extra minutes with Stu.

As soon as I got up I started itching.

And itching.

And itching.

I'm not really sure why but I didn't head this warning and continued on talking to Stu and then getting ready for work. While I was getting ready my ears started itching really, really badly. And then my head; so much so that I couldn't blow dry my hair. Some of you might be screaming at me right now and please know that I didn't hear any of you because my ears were itching!

Regardless of the itching, I headed out the door with a questioning gaze from Stuart and trekked on to work. When I stepped thru the doubled doors, the first thing our triage nurse asked me was why my ears were so red...and why was I breaking out on my face AND neck? Hmm. "I'm just REALLY itchy" was my well informed response. "I think you need to check in and get seen, you look like you're breaking out in hives" she retorted.

Not wanting to leave everyone at work, I procrastinated for a good 30 minutes only to have the itching reach epic levels. After consulting one of our doctors I caved; I signed in. {sigh}

Our triage nurse was right-HIVES.

2 shots and some meds to take for the next 7 days and I am officially less itchy.

Oh and I can't go to work tonight either because the steroids I am taking cause me to fall asleep.

Wow. This is a first.

And the kicker is I have NO IDEA what caused them. No new soap, make-up, shampoo, conditioner, laundry detergent, fabric softener, lotion, face cream, linens, towels, food. I honestly have no clue. But they kinda stink. And if someone would have offered to cut my ears off last night, I so would have let them.

Still Working

March 2008
March 2010

10 March 2010

And I wonder why they get hurt

Bathroom Update

It's been awhile folks. The view of the bathroom has not changed much. I know, I sound harsh but you're not the one living with this mess that doesn't just end at the bathroom door. Remember-my house, the construction zone? Yeah. I also know that I sound very snobby for thinking that we have it hard with sharing one bathroom. And oh my, we have a house with a roof over our head! What am I complaining about?

Well, Stuart realized that my lovely youngest sister and her boyfriend are coming this weekend. Apparently this realization didn't take affect when I told him of this event two weeks ago; no, he had an over the top, shocking moment on Monday. As in two days ago. And they'll be here in two days.

So he did what he does best, super sonic chaos.

And here is where we are today:

We're getting there.

09 March 2010

Executive Decision

You might be wondering what my very expensive, very large, very nice, hand-me-down rug is doing in the carport surrounded by trash and muck and grub and other "man things."

Well, I made an executive decision.

One of epic proportions.

I threw it out.


With the trash.



After much vomit and poo and other sensory items, it just had to go. I mean, I tried really, really hard to clean it as soon as the aforementioned items befell the glorious rug but there's only so much cleaning that will take out that abuse. And to be absolutely fair it had a fabulous former life in a grand palace by the sea...oh wait, that's my dream.

So fair well good and faithful rug. You have served this family and the family before us and the family before them and your original owners well. But your time has come.

Executive decision. Done.

05 March 2010

My Watch

It never fails that something happens in this house on my watch.
I am so not kidding.
If something bad is going to happen, you can bet that that something is going to take place when Stuart is not home and I have responsibility of the house/children/dogs/tv.

Did you know that Turbo broke his leg when he was 5 months old? He did. And guess when it happened? When Stuart was out of town and I was left alone and dared to take him to my friend's house. A broken leg, rod and screws, and some shaving were the end result.
Tucker's 1st black eye? Yup. All me. Well, I didn't in fact hurt my child, but the stool at McDonald's sure did. And Stuart was no where in site.
And now Scout. Poor, pitiful Scout.

Taking advantage of this rockin' weather we have had for the past two days, I took the boys and dogs outside to remember what fresh air and our backyard were like. (Side note-my children thrive in the outdoors. Plus naps are so much better when they've had some energy-burning time frolicking in the mud that is our backyard. And me? I get some "alone" time with my book. And sunglasses. My eyes are still really sensitive to light.)

After 2 hours of some melatonin, Stuart calls to inform me that he's on his way home from school. Sweet. Scout meanders up right at that moment and I am horrified to see blood. Not just a little blood. Everywhere blood. E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E. I might have screamed on the phone. Stuart might have thought something really bad happened to me or the boys. Upon hanging up the phone (and assuring Stuart that no humans were hurt) I eyed Scout more closely and found that she was bleeding excessively from her back paw. Some warm water and a wash cloth led me to the culprit-a nasty and large gash.

Stuart arrived not long after that and was also amazed at the sheer amount of blood covering our porch and quickly started a search of the cause of this invader. Nothing turned up.

After some frantic discussion, we decided to wrap her foot and put her in her kennel to see if she continued to bleed (she did). The night was horrible; Scout cried and whimpered and I just felt awful for her. First thing in the morning, we drove her to the vet and they assured us Scout would be fine but it was a good thing we brought her in with all the blood loss and such.

#1 dog parent here.

The end result?

3 stitches
Pain meds
Parvo and distemper shots
Rabies shot (she was due)
Nail clipping (free since she was put under)
Cute pink bandanna
A VERY groggy-couldn't-stand-to-walk-three-steps-and-fell-asleep-with-her-head-in-the-air-and-I-had-to-physically-push-her-head/body-back-against-the-couch Dog.

03 March 2010

What's better than a sandbox?

A sandbox WITH your cousins.

02 March 2010

Some nights we do a little 'o this

Please pardon the drywall that's hanging out in front of the fireplace.

(by the way this video took over 5 hours to attempt to upload, oh.my.word)
(in that time i emptied the dishwasher, reloaded the dishwasher, folded and put away 2 loads of laundry, washed and dried and folded and put away a load of towels, ironed all 8 of my work shirts, made lunch, cleaned up lunch, balanced the checkbook, cleaned out my email, broke a drawer, took some pictures of the mess that is stuart's bathroom project, applied several eye drops, vacuumed, put the boys down for a nap, and found the desire to learn how to sew really awesome things for my house so that it can be a mish-mosh of adorableness and sassiness-just so you know)
(i finally gave up and used another video hosting site to publish this)

01 March 2010

My House, the Construction Zone

The counter in the kitchen
In the dining room
Next to silver
In the living room
Against the windows
And the offender
What should the penalty be?