And with that said

...last night was a million times better! Thank you so much ladies for all your encouraging words. Not only was last night only an 8 hour shift but it was busy, busy (in a good way) and the ugly nurse from the night before wasn't there. Phew! Best of all-I don't have to work tonight!!!

So good day!

Thursday

worked 14 hours last night
had my first (and second) code blue
had my first death
had a really bitchy nurse that completely degraded me in front of a patient
had my first helicopter transport
still haven't done a trauma
had a coworker treat me like an imbecile
she just so happens to be my new partner
got to register the new sports anchor for channel 6
he was kinda cute
had to deal with a stupid drunk guy
turned out he was pretty nice sober
have worked 34 hours in the past 3 nights
i know, it's only 11.33 hours per night but still
am very tired
miss seeing these blurry faces

7 am

Stuart: Why are you making the bed?
Me: Because I make it up everyday.
Stuart: But you're just going to be getting back in it in 5 hours.
Me: So?
Stuart: So...why make it up for just 5 hours?
Me: Because that's 5 hours that it's made.
Stuart: You're weird.
Me: :)

I have my first overnight tonight: 7p-7a. This is gonna be fun.

Always, Sometimes, Never

I ALWAYS

• cry at the National Anthem
• wake up grumpy
• check to see if the toilet paper is loaded the correct way
• plan my day even if my day doesn't involve anything
• make lists
• get Tyson out of the car first
• put Tucker in the car first
• remember my dreams
• procrastinate on folding laundry
• smell clean clothes
• look people in the eyes when I talk to them

I SOMETIMES

• go to bed at a decent hour
• go to the grocery store without a list (rarely)
• throw my shoes in my closet so that I can reorganize them a week later
• eat breakfast for all three meals
• play the what-if game
• wear my pajamas all day
• take a sip of Stuart's beer to see if I like it (I don't)
• wish we would have a little girl

I NEVER

• thought I would have two boys
• thought I would live in Las Vegas
• thought that parenthood would be this challenging
• thought I would be 28 without my degree
• thought I would be the parent who bans things
  
• thought I would still be grieving my MIL's death
• eat condiments
• go to sleep the minute my head hits the pillow
• want to look back and regret

Not

The past two weeks have flown by. Taking on workinghood has put a whole new spin on our lives; one that I am grateful for but was not entirely prepared for. When I get home I am so mind-numbingly tired that I have little left in me to even take off my clothes. The task of keeping my eyes open is beyond exhausting. Either way, since this role reversal of the "bread winner" has taken place I have been neglecting some things.

What I have NOT been up to during the past two weeks:

• cooking
• cleaning
• laundry
• balancing the checkbook twice a day
• reading
  
• blogging
• my Sunday night rituals
• taking pictures
  
• picking up dog poo
• mowing the dead grass
• emailing
• taking surveys
• my female dog that has been in heat for 2.5 weeks now

Surprised? I am.

Would you also say a pray for Luke and his family? They are dealing with some difficult circumstances right now and really need some encouragement.

Ch-ch-ch-chia!

You have got to be kidding me. What has this world come to?

Got Milk?

So how's work going, Clarissa?

I have been pummeled with this question all week. Ok, my mom is the only one asking, but still I know you are all wondering. To answer you-it's great! I worked in the ER Thursday and Friday and am now absolutely certain that the craziest people on the planet live in this city. I am so not kidding. And from my two day extravaganza in the working world, I have compiled a list of sorts: (can I just tell you how incredible it feels to be making a list {smirk})

Some helpful hints when coming into the ER

• When coming into the ER, please don't bum-rush the ER back doors with 15 of your family members without first registering. You will not be able to push open the locked doors. And I just happen to control the opening of the doors.
• When registering in the ER, please, please, please know how to spell your name. And it wouldn't hurt to know your birthday. As in "date of birth."
• When registering in the ER, please write semi-legibly.
  
• When registering in the ER, please do not take off your shirt to show me ______ and ask me what I think needs to be done. I AM NOT A NURSE (that would this lady) and I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU WITHOUT A SHIRT ON.
• When registering at the ER, please do not take the time to talk on your cell phone at the front desk about _____ while your child is screaming in pain next to you. Please, please fill out the registration slip and allow your child to get that much closer to being treated.
  
• When registering the in ER, please do not allow your 20 year old, punk boyfriend to tell you that since you have been waiting for 20 minutes that you need to go home. You took the time to CALL AN AMBULANCE so maybe you should take the time to wait for the doctor to see you. But whatever, you're still going to have to pay the ambulance bill AND now that you are registered and have been triaged, you're gonna have ER services to pay as well. Do what you want, it's no biggie.
• When registering in the ER, ALWAYS bring 12 of your closest friends and have them "help" you fill out your paperwork. This makes life so much more interesting.

Let's just say that in the 16 hours I was in the ER this week, I have to come to realize the importance of laughter. And man, did I have fun.

Shout Outs:
Hand sanitizer-I could bathe in you.
Cleaning ladies/crews-you are beyond underpaid. Thank you sooo much for what you do.
My own pen-yeah.
Washing machine-I may have given you a shout out before, but is there really a limit?

We can brave the heat, right?

We got our electric bill today. See for yourself.

Just a Thought

When leaving the house for any reason, do NOT allow the children to take their mooses (i.e. comfort item) out the door. If one allows the children to walk out the door with said items, then one assumes responsibility of those items. And if the children take those sacred items to the babysitter's house, one would also be responsible if the child LOST that item and is therefore still awake at 9 pm waiting for the babysitter to come back from far, far away with the FOUND item.

Yes, apparently being a father completely absolves you of all responsibility.

SIGNO

*All Signatures Obtained*

That's right people. This is all that I have left in my head right now. Today I completed my 5th and last day of training. Phew! I have typed more in the last five days than I have in my entire life. Seriously. I have learned all about insurance. Not.fun. And can I just say, please, please carry your current insurance card with you. It makes life soooo much easier when and if you need to go to the hospital. Oh and also please have and/or know your address, phone, name and address of your employer, name and address of the nearest legal relative and PLEASE know that I am NOT a nurse.

I also need to give a huge THANK YOU to all of you for your encouraging words. Finding a job was not easy and I am so blessed to have you in my life and supporting me.

Alright, I also need to apologize. If I have ever criticized a working mom, I am sorry. If I have ever thought that a mom was neglecting her family by working, I am sorry. If I have ever mentioned that being employed would somehow lesson the roles that a mom still has to carry on at home, I am really sorry.

While Stuart has been a tremendous help this last week, what I didn't realized was that the role of "mom" does not change when "mom" goes to work. When I come home at 4:30ish that last thing that I want to think about it making dinner. In fact the only thing on my mind is taking my shoes off and sitting naked underneath a fan. (Yes, it's currently 102 degrees at 9:02pm) That and a margarita. Too bad the first thing that I am hit with when I walk in the door is "momville." What I used to be able to accomplish in a full day now has to be done in a 4 hour time period. Not to mention the organizing, scheduling and reading. Yeah, this is really hard for me to let go of...

Have I mentioned that I have a job?

Don't worry though. I have orientation and more ER training next week and then the following week I will start on my 11p-7a schedule (only 3 nights a week). That means that I will have more time to devout to you and all that is my new world. Aren't you happy now?

Apparently they don't care that I am gone

Tyson: Mommy are you going to work?
Me: Not today buddy, it's Sunday!
Tyson: But mommy, you need to go to work.
Me: Well yes, mommy does need to go to work but today is mommy's day off.
Tyson: Umph. But I like to play with daddy more when you are at work.
Me: I'm glad you're having fun with daddy.
Tyson: Yeah me too. I like daddy better because he's my daddy.

...and now I shall go cry myself to sleep.

May I have your attention?

Will you take a moment and look at the three digit number in the middle of this picture.
Go ahead, take another look. That would be the temperature right now in Wichita Falls. At 5:01 pm. Yeah.

Official

Hallelujah!

I got a job!!
Working admitting in the ER
11pm-7am 4 days a week
This means no daycare for the boys
Yahoo!
This means that I will have insurance
This means that our mortgage will get paid
This means that I get to interact with other adults (and lunatics) on a regular basis
This means that I am gainfully employed
This means that someone thought that I was, in fact h-i-r-e-a-b-l-e
And I start today!

Band-Aid

A month or two ago, I was going to the bathroom when in walks Tyson. Now that he's getting older we are trying to turn up the privacy knob but when Stuart is gone it is really hard, plus we don't have locks on any of our doors and most of the handles don't really work. Anywho, so in walks Tyson. It just so happened that I also had my little friend in town-you know, that time of the month (TMI?).

Tyson: "Mommy, what's THAT??"
Me: "Ummm..nothing buddy, don't worry about it."
Tyson: "But mommy, why do you have that?"
Me: "Uh, well, hmm"

I have absolutely NO DESIRE to explain the birds and the bees to my three year old son let alone the menstruation cycle of females. I mean, isn't that what daddy's are for? I fully expect Stuart to sit down and explain everything to Tyson when he's 40 years old. That way when he's 25 and sitting on the couch at his psychiatrist's office he can honestly bawl that his parents never told him anything and he doesn't understand why women act this way. Just a thought.

So I'm sitting there totally stunned, having no clue what to say when in walks Tucker. Geez, can a mom get 2 minutes of uninterrupted bathroom time? All right, I need to redirect this conversation quick.

Me: "Mommy just got an owie and this is a special mommy band-aid."
Tyson: "OK. I hope your owie feels better mommy. I'm so sorry."
Me: "Thanks booger."

Phew, awkward conversation averted! I honestly didn't think anymore of that almost-turned-horrible bathroom chat until yesterday. We were getting dressed to go outside when I stepped on a car for the billionth time. I'm sure I slightly screamed ouch. Next thing I know Tyson is running towards me with a maxi pad in his hand.

Tyson: "Here mommy. I got you your mommy band-aid."
Me: "Thanks buddy."

Elephant

Bear with me, Stuart found this story on an elephant in Wichita Falls and I just had to share it:

Someday, perhaps, a work crew laying cable or pipe will unearth a large set of bones near a busy Wichita Falls intersection.

They may think they have found the remains of some prehistoric creature, but they would be wrong. Should a paleontologist be consulted, the expert would determine that the bones, while old, did not come from a wooly mammoth, but its evolutionary descendant, the elephant.

How an elephant came to be buried in Wichita Falls is a story of incredible cruelty – at least by modern standards – that from this distance smells like a publicity stunt. Whatever the motivations involved, a bizarre set of circumstances converged in this Northwest Texas city in 1899.

It started when a circus hit town. The owner of the show let it be known that the company had a killer elephant under sentence of death.

The animal had been spared after killing one man some years before, but when the pachyderm killed a second, the circus proprietor sentenced it to death. At least that was his story. Maybe the animal was just getting old and the circus boss figured the publicity attendant to executing a “killer” elephant would be worth a whole lot more than the hay it took to keep the animal swinging its trunk.

Plastering the town with handbills, the owner called on the good people of Wichita Falls to lend a hand in the execution.

On the date set, the elephant was walked from the Big Top to a spot near where Brook now crosses Kell Boulevard and staked out with leg chains. As one newspaper later reported, “Everybody in Wichita Falls who had a shooting iron repaired to the scene. There were folks with shotguns, revolvers of various kinds and rifles.”

Unfortunately, no one had the kind of firepower it takes to drop an elephant. The beast took on more lead than 20 coats of old paint and seemed not much worse for the wear. The only noticeable affect, totally understandable, was a considerable annoyance at those doing the shooting. The elephant lunged at its chains, but fortunately for the crowd, the iron held.

Shotgun pellets bounced harmlessly off its thick hide as the beast roared in fear and rage.

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals not yet having a toehold in Wichita Falls, the circus gang came up with another idea. A railroad track being nearby, with the ready cooperation of the local station master, two switch engines were employed to stretch out a heavy chain fastened around the big animal’s neck.

The killer elephant, if indeed it was, finally died of strangulation.

Safe at last from the possible rampage of a rogue elephant, the people of this Northwest Texas community faced another not-so-little problem: How to dispose of a dead elephant.

As city officials pondered the situation, someone noticed the town scavenger in the crowd and had an idea. If he would bury the elephant, he could have the hide.

The man, thinking the near bullet-proof skin would make a fine roof for his house at Seventh and Austin streets, agreed to what literally was quite a large undertaking. With help from his family, he skinned the elephant, dug a hole sufficient to contain the body, and somehow got the carcass in it.

For a time, the junk dealer had the distinction of having the only elephant skin roof in Wichita Falls, the state of Texas and perhaps anywhere in the nation.

But fame, and utility, proved fleeting. After the first good rain, the elephant roof shrank like so much green rawhide. By that time, of course, the circus had long since pulled its tent stakes and moved on to the next town.

Crazy! I'm telling you, the weirdest people live in this city that I call home. Well, the city that the AF made me call home and now I am voluntarily calling home. And for your patience here is a glimpse back in time.

That's Life

Star and Stripes

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!

Thanks to all who are serving and have served!

This

was a killer job.