17 April 2009


It's hormones; it has to be. Today is one of those days. Not in that I have "my little friend" in town but as in someone took a wrench to my world while I wasn't sleeping last night and screwed things all up.

To begin with, I didn't sleep at all last night. I had these weird, chaotic dreams that left me jumping out of bed, studying my surroundings and trying to make out if I was still dreaming or awake. All.night.long. And of course every time that my body flinched, Scout would jump off her chair and scurry about that house because that's what a dog is supposed to do in the middle of the night.

Stuart is off today because has to work NCOD (babysitting the airmen at the dorms) tonight and tomorrow night from 10 pm-10 am. (Yes, I'm having flashbacks to that the low point in his career called MID SHIFT) While I love having my husband home, when he's home he throws our schedule completely out of whack. Do daddy's not understand that we have a fine tuned flow of how things go and when you (HE) doesn't paddle in the right direction, the boat turns over and all heck breaks loose. Ahem.

Since Stuart was going to be home during the day, he wanted to get some work done of his ridiculously time consuming and now over the limit expensive Scout (the vehicle, not the dog). Which is all well and good, but you're home honey, in the middle of the day, and I have to go to the grocery store, and wouldn't it be nice for you to watch the boys so that I could go to the grocery store alone, by myself, without two pairs of hands grabbing at everything, and without two little bobbing heads that attract attention from the elderly population who like to TOUCH my bobbing heads and talk to those same heads as if they were 2 months old (anyone else get really creeped out when strangers TOUCH their children? Who knows what kind of germs have now been passed to my darlings). Wouldn't it be nice to do that for me?? Of course not, what was I thinking?

And then as I am driving to the grocery store with my daddy-rag dolls in tow, a funeral procession passes me. That was all it took. I broke. Big, fat tears immediately fall from my non-make-up-wearing eyes and I start sobbing. Really. Uncontrollable weeping. All I could picture was my MIL (mother-in-law) passing away and the aftermath that has ripped thru our lives. (I'll have to post soon about my feelings).

Two hours later, I stumble in the front door with cranky, hungry kids and the look of death for my husband. Yes, it took me 1.5 hours to shop. 1.5 miserable, loathsome hours. And I still have to go to Wal-Mart to get the things that the Commissary didn't have because I have to feed my dogs. They might appreciate something to eat. At least that's the responsible thing to do.

Is it too early for hard liquor?


Jennifer W. said...

No, it's never too early. Well yes, there is such thing as too early but 4:42pm is not it. I had that sort of day on Thursday. I hope today was better for you!!

Anonymous said...

It's Misty. I couldn't remember my Google name/password.

I've been having a hard time with Jennifer being gone too - really bad the past month or so. Easter weekend in SA was especially hard for me and I miss her so much. Who'd a-thunk it? Maybe it's because the year anniversary is coming up? I think the worst part is knowing that my Steve is having a hard time with it and he's still putting on a good face.

When Jennifer died my mom told me that the worst part is coming, not right then. That it's watching your husband grieving and suprisingly not your own grief. I've found that to be so true.