18 April 2011

Call Me Overprotective

Last night we ventured out to dinner. It was a beautiful night (one that is in short supply here especially when the highs are forecasted in the 90s all week) so we settled on a kid-friendly sandbox and outdoor dining. The boys absolutely love the sandbox and we love the ability to let them play while not eating at a fast-food restaurant. BUT (you knew there was a but right?!) I was (and constantly am) baffled by other parents and their lack of parenting. So, I did what I do best: I complied a list.

  1. I know that everyone can't get a table right next to the sandbox, but just because you are in ear shot from your offspring does not mean that you should yell at them every 30 seconds.
  2. Get off your behinde and walk over to your screeching, heathen child. Yes, this requires operating more than your mouth.
  3. Please, please don't EVER yell across the patio at ME asking if MY child is holding the rake that is being flung thru the air. A) that is most definitely NOT my child and B) I am liable to actually shoot lasers out of my eyes.
  4. Apologize when the real mom of the aforementioned rake flinger surfaces to half-heartedly discipline her spawn.
  5. Just because you can somehow pour your body into skinny jeans does NOT mean that you should attempt such fowl acts. Oh, and, your boobs are way too big for that lace contraption you call a bra. Trust me, when your girls are hanging out more than they are tucked in, you need to face the fact that you aren't 15 and go to the women's section in the store.


Andrea said...

Hmm...do you actually live in my neck of the woods. I think you might.