Socks

...and this is what happens when boys dress themselves.

Splish Splash

When in doubt, brake

I openly admit that I am not a good driver. I am not a bad driver, but not good none-the-less. So it was with much apprehension that I drove home this Monday. We were coming back home in two vehicles so I really had no choice. I must also warn you that I can not drive long distances at night. It just doesn't work. I get sleepy and...yeah. Not good. But I drove and thus compiled a list of sorts.

Things I surmised while driving home for 8 hours:

1. People who don't use cruise control are dumb.
2. The car that's behind the person not using cruise control that won't pass therefore causing 9 cars to pile up is also dumb, very dumb. And irritating.
3. People that brake incessantly on the highway are dumb. Keep an appropriate distance between you and the car in front of you. Better yet, use your cruise control.
4. People who drive motorcycles without helmets get what's coming. I'm not endorsing hitting a man on a motorcycle and then laughing at him, I'm just saying he's dumb for not wearing a helmet.
5. US 281 N is pretty much the most boring drive ever.
6. Trying to convince your 3 year old son who just learned how to pee in the potty to use a public bathroom is not fun. Especially when you have his 2 year old brother trying to lay down on the said bathroom floor. Yuck!
7. Am I the only person that still employs the "nice-Texas-drivers-pull-onto-the-shoulder-so-that-the-speeding-car-behind-you-can-pass" law? Maybe it's not law but I still like it.
8. Ford Rangers with smoke stacks are dumb.
9. Small towns that make you slow from 70 to 55 to 45 to 35 mph are dumb.
10. There are only 2 Starbucks between San Antonio and Wichita Falls. This is dumb.

Mish Mash

Happy 1st Birthday Scout!

Happy 3rd Anniversary Marci & Scott!

One Year

It's been a year. A year. Wow, that just sounds odd. And incredible all at the same time.

So as many of you know, my MIL (mother-in-law) passed away very unexpected May 26, 2008. She had been experiencing severe bleeding Friday night (May 23) and was rushed to the ER very early Saturday morning. She went into surgery sometime Saturday morning and it was found that she had a huge ulcer that grew into the artery that feeds her spleen had ruptured and she was/had been bleeding internally. Her artery was "fixed" and she was sent to the ICU. Please pardon my lack of correct medical terminology. The entire family was called and everyone rushed to get to her side (my little family and my brother-in-law's (BIL) family are the only ones that don't live in San Antonio so we had to get there fast). We arrived sometime around 3 pm, dropping off Stuart at the hospital on the way to my parent's house. After getting the boys settled, I drove up to be with everyone and see my MIL.
She was hooked up to every imaginable wire and line but she was still alive. We weren't sure if she could hear us or not, so we tried to talk quietly or include her in the conversation. It was so surreal. I remember at one point my BIL was recounting the Spurs game for her (we're all big fans!). No one ate or drank the every flowing Starbucks in her room, because if she could smell it we didn't want her to feel hungry. After several hours, we all decided to head to our respective home-away-from homes and meet up again in the morning.
Sunday morning, the boys and I got ready and went to church with my parents while Stuart went up to the hospital to be with his dad and mom. Afterwords he met us for lunch at Red Robin. He was optimistic about his mom and that her stats were "stable." We said goodbye and he headed back to the hospital and I back to my parent's to put the boys down for a nap. After the boys woke up we decided to go to Wal-Mart (do you really have to have a reason to go?). We were in the toothpaste aisle when my phone rang. It was Stuart. I needed to go pick up my BIL-NOW. He was at my MIL's parent's house and had left his car at the hospital. Stuart couldn't really talk except to say that the dr had just been in and things were not good.
We rushed out of the store. Broke several speed limits to get to my BIL. Somehow got him up to the hospital and us back to my parent's. I called Stuart when I got to my parent's and he said that I needed to get up there too. The drs had done everything that they could. My MIL's body just couldn't handle the amount of blood loss and her organs were shutting down.
No, no, no!
This can not be happening.
I arrived sometime around 7 pm. Her room was very dark. Almost everyone was there. We were all very quiet. Tears ran freely. My FIL asked that no one else be allowed back so that we could be with her privately. The nurses were wonderful. They moved in and out without a sound. Sometime around midnight, after every test had been run, after every chart had be scrutinized, my FIL made the call to have her taken off of the ventilator. We circled around her bed and prayed her into God's arms. She took her final breath, on her own at 12:30 am, May 26, Memorial Day.
I will never forget watching her father cry. It was the first time I had every seen him be anything but happy.
I will never forget my strong husband bending down over his mother to give her one final kiss.
I will never forget running to meet my SIL in the parking lot and holding onto her for dear life.
I will never forget my BIL sitting in the hospital waiting room explaining to his daughter, that her Nana was now with God and the sobs that escaped from her mouth almost tore me in two. And the way that she ran to her Papa when he came around the corner.
I will never forget thinking how much this sucked.
I will never forget going back to my parent's house at 4 am and wondering how the world was still existing.
But it was. And we were.

After Saturday comes Sunday--Max Lucado (a very botched version of his wonderful sermon Easter 2009. This sermon was so profound and made all over us cry.)

So here I am almost a year later. I still feel many of these feelings. More so now.
I miss Jennifer. I miss her a lot.
My heart is absolutely ripped out of me when Stuart, on a very rare occasion, talks about her being gone.
I ache that my children don't know or remember her. They loved her. But they are just so young. When Tyson looks at a picture of her he either asks who she is or names another family member in her place.
I am mad that my FIL is already remarried. I'm sure his new wife is great. But I don't know her. And right now if I'm honest, I don't want to get to know her. I just can't fill that spot yet.
I'm frustrated that I feel this way. But I do.
I cry knowing that my MIL and I didn't always get along. I wish I would have let things go.
I really hope she has a window in heaven so that she can see that we love her and miss her so very, very much.
I want her to know that my boys WILL know her as they get older.
I can't believe that we survived a year. How could we do that?

No Good, Very Bad...Yeah

We are in San Antonio. This is good because the boys get to see Mimi and Peepaw and be spoiled to the utmost extent. This is bad because Tuesday marks the year anniversary of Jennifer's (my MIL) death. Oh, and we brought the rain with us to San Antonio. Good for San Antonio. Bad for Doss boys and their outside play.

So this morning started off with a bang. As in bang!, it's 6:45 am and your children are awake and you didn't go to bed till after 1:30 am since you had one of the worst nights ever and therefore spent most of the night crying instead of sleeping. Yeah, I was really ready to get up this morning.

After feeding the boys breakfast (and waiting till 7:45 am), I decided to go upstairs and wake up Stuart so that he could watch the boys so that I could take a shower and be out of everyone's way and make getting ready for church that much easier. Apparently waking up my dear husband was not on his agenda. I lovingly allowed the boys to jump into bed and inform daddy to "wake up!!" Aren't I nice?

Upon leaving the shower, I was greeted by a half sleeping husband still in bed and my children destroying the bedroom. Are you kidding me? I think there may have been some choice words for my honey as to why he was still sleeping and not with the children downstairs. He might have given me one of those looks and he rolled out of bed and gathered our offspring.

We arrived at church 20 minutes early. This is good. It normally takes a bit of time to get the boys checked into their classes and now there's a new computer check-in system to add to the mess. Once inside, we are greeted by the oldest children's worker ever, who doesn't know how to use the computer to check us in. Great. I may have rolled my eyes a couple of dozen times and I might have reminded the kind, unhelpful woman that we were in fact visitors but not for the 1st time, we had filled out paperwork for the boys on several previous occasions and no we didn't live in San Antonio. 12 minutes later (and yes I did check my watch) we were finally walking Tyson to his room. 1 down. As we walk up to Tucker's door, he immediately starts pulling my hand back and saying, "don wan it, don wan it." Come on, please? "No, no, no!" "They have play-doh Tuck!" "No, no, no mommy! Don wan it!" So we decide to un-register Tucker and take him to service with us. It's now 3 till 10:00 am.

Wouldn't you know, the auditorium is full! Hooray!

As we walk out the doors, Stuart decides that we should just go pick up Tyson and go back home. Fine, whatever. It's not like my former boss was preaching or anything.

So we make our way back thru the church and down the Tyson's room. When we get to the door, we watch Tyson playing so sweetly and ask if maybe Tucker could just go in the room with Tyson since that's what they are used to at our church. Sure! Alright, re-check-in Tucker, usher him into Tyson's room and make our way back upstairs.

Auditorium's full. Overflow room #1's full. Overflow room #2's full. But we can watch the sermon from the coffee area! Ah, no thank you. So...back to get the boys and check-out. It's now 10:20 am.

In the next hour, I take the boys outside to the playground where Tucker flips off the swing and lands on his head, break my shoe walking out to the van and have an entire carton of milk dropped on the floor while trying to get Tyson to summon the courage to use a public bathroom.

Did I mention that it has rained everyday since we got here?

Round Two

So last night I had another interview. The 2nd interview in about a month. It was a far cry better than my 1st interview. This was a bit different though. It was a group interview. I have never had anything like this. Not that I have been involved in many interviews; I have had a panel interview, but this was a group of 6 all vying for the same positions. Interesting. I think it went rather well. The interviewer did inform us that the company did not have a set number of hires right now so there is a very real possibility that all 6 would/could be hired. That's just fancy talk for, "I'm not going to tell you to your face that we are only looking to hire 1 or 2 people right now and I want you all to go home and start telling everyone that you got the job, turn down any other offers you might receive from other companies and then wallow in misery when this company doesn't call you to let you know you have been hired. Thanks for coming!"

Now, for no other purpose than to make you smile, I feel compelled to tell you a little about the other interviewees. It's so fun!

There were 6 of us in all and we were all women. Yeah. There was me, who quite frankly is perfect in every way, wait did I type that out load? Hehe. #2 was a nice woman, probably in her 40's who is an elementary school counselor. She's just looking for a summer job and maybe something small to do during the school year since her kids are grown. #3 was a woman a little younger than me who has 4 young kids (she didn't say how young, but I introduced my self before her and said that I had two young boys ages 3 and 2 and so I can only assume that hers are about the same age) at home, is single and just quit working at the new Jack-In-The-Box (seriously, the place just opened 3 months ago). #4 was a high school girl who was just looking for a summer job. Her name is Shady. Seriously. I had to bite my tongue. #5 was also a high schooler, who is graduating next week and also looking for a summer job and her name is Brunette. As in the hair color. Ha! #6 was a very nice young girl who just finished her freshman year at Hardin Simmons (and yes I asked if she knew anybody from ACU) and is home for the summer, also looking for a summer job. Poor thing, she was scared to death. She has never had a job and I think this was either her first interview or at least one of her first. She was shaking and I really just wanted to give her a hug and tell her is was ok.

So now en lies the question: will Clarissa ever get a job?

We are moving into the danger zone now. Stuart started his out processing yesterday and will most likely be out of the Air Force and jobless by Friday. One week from now. 7 days. 168 rough hours.

The kicker is I have no clue as to what I want to do. Really. There are a plethora of options and a lot of things sound really interesting. There are really only two key things that I need: 1) a job that can offer benefits or at least pay me enough that I can buy private insurance and 2) a job that will allow me to not have to put the boys in daycare (i.e. something after 1 pm and before 2 am). Not too much to ask.

The insurance thing is mildly important. Stuart will be receiving insurance from the VA (for life actually) and we are going to get insurance for the boys thru the state. That just leaves little 'ole me. For all the negatives of the military, one of the biggest positives was the insurance. I mean after you deal with the ever-changing staff, ridiculous wait times, lack of a range of medications and probable referral to another doctor or the ER, the coverage was great.

As for daycare, I think I have touched on this subject before but if I haven't then bottom line is I don't want to put my kids there. It's not that I think daycare is bad. If I have to, I will utilize it. But Stuart and I have worked so hard over the past almost 4 years to keep the boys at home. And I want to raise them here.

I will say that we have been looking into Tues/Thurs and Preschool programs for Tyson to start going to in the fall. We just haven't made a concrete decision yet.

And where does that leave me now? I have sent out 10+ applications. I have had 2 interviews. The clock is ticking.

Luke Chisholm Update

This is a letter Luke's mom posted today about his current status. Please be in constant prayer for this sweet family!

Hopefully this won't be as long as my "weekly" updates that I share with all of you on Luke, but I just wanted to let you know about the last few days and ask for some specific prayer warrioring.
Tuesday, the neonatologist came in and talked with me while David was out in the lobby trying to get a little sermon work in. The neonatologist talked with me about Luke's prognosis, saying that Luke's medical situation is very unique and very very serious. We knew that, but he indicated that Luke's prognosis is worse than we had talked about before.
Luke is having quite a bit of trouble breathing. We keep having to raise the level of oxygen he's getting through his ventilator, and we don't really know why. Monday and Monday night was particularly bad. The neonatologist wanted David and I to know that while we of course had the option of pursuing every medical treatment available, he also wanted us to know that we have the option of doing nothing. We have the option of taking him home and letting him die peacefully without putting him through months of NICU, tubes, IVs, surgeries, etc. The doctor was very kind as he was saying this, and eventually we figured out that he just wanted us to know that the medical staff would not judge us if and when we decide to "stop" pursuing medical treatment and take him home.
That sounds a whole lot like giving up to me.
So, David and I spent abou 24 hours seriously thinking about what if we lost our precious baby boy. It didnt' take long for us to decide that we would do everything in our power to help him get well, no matter the time or financial cost, as long as Luke has even a very slim chance at a normal life. But have again been slapped in the face with the possible reality that Luke might not make it through surgeries #1, #2, or #3. We spent a long time in tears and in silence and in prayer.
Yesterday afternoon we finally got to speak with Luke's cardiologist, Dr. Kao. She told us that our plan of three surgeries hasn't changed. His heart hasn't changed from the past tests she has done. We're still going to follow the plan. She said it is too early to tell what kind of prognosis Luke really has, but she was quite positive and hopeful that she and Dr. Mendeloff (the surgeon) can give Luke a pretty good shot at a normal life. Her idea about Luke's breathing is that it's possible that his heart (right atrium) is so enlarged that it is pressing on his bronchial tubes or trachea and making it difficult for Luke to get good oxygen flow. She said that if Luke has another bad day like Monday, she will do a CAT scan of his chest and then decide how to proceed. Yesterday and today have been pretty good days so far.
I am reminded that these doctors, as kind and as brilliant as the are, may not realize that God is in control of this situation. We weren't even supposed to make it to 26 weeks, remember? We made it to 38 weeks and 3 days - full term. God has continually surprised and delighted us with his mercy and provision. I fully believe that he's not about to stop now. We pray that God's glory and power is shown to both believers and non-believers alike, and we will know that the LORD is God.
Please pray for Luke's breathing. Pray that he will need less and and less extra oxygen to keep him stable, and that he will be able to breathe normally. Pray that whatever is causeing his breathing difficulties, whether it's the size of his heart or something else, is healed without medical intervention. Pray that God's will is done in the timing of his surgeries. Pray for strength and courage and faith for all three of us.
We love you.
Thanks for praying,
Rachael & David

Why not?

I am going to throw all the boys toys away.
Seriously, this stuff is beyond out of hand.
I'm sure they're mounting an army as I write and about to invade my pantry and fridge.
We can't have that happen.
Oh, and the last of the new, expensive fish died last night.
Stupid expensive fish.

'Nuttin' Better

All gone

I love reality. I mean, really love it. Obsessed about it. It's funny because when the reality tv craze first started I thought it was dumb. Who would want to watch reality when you could watch The Cosby Show? But that all changed when Survivor came out 9 years ago. Seriously. 18 seasons over 9 years and I have watched every single one. One could say that my adult life has peaked with the premieres and finales of this show. Not really but it sounds good.

Stuart and I were watching the finale of season 18 on Sunday when he looked at my ankle and promptly commanded me to take my anklet off.

Gasp!

"Do what?"

"Take it off."

"But I have had it for years."

"Who gave it to you?"

{silence}

Do you remember in middle school when everyone made anklets out of their mother's thread and wore them for like two weeks and kept adding more and more anklets from friends until everyone's anklets started to resemble socks? I was so one of those girls. I thought anklets were beyond cool and seeing that high school girls wore them too, well that just did me in. I HAD to wear them. And so I did.

My freshman year I started dating this guy from church. Well, kinda from church. Someone in the youth group had invited him to come and then he started coming to church on a regular basis. That's neither here nor there. BUT his father was a professional Santa Claus. For real. His full time job was to actually BE Santa Claus. Amazingly he really does look like the man. So much so that one professional photographer uses him exclusively for pictures before Christmas. He also taught driver's ed where I learned that before you take off, you should check to make sure that the parking brake is not engaged. Ahem.

So this boyfriend of mine, who was a junior!, noticed that I was wearing ratty, knotted threads as anklets. For Christmas he gave me a new one. It was quite sweet actually. He went to James Avery, again because he noted the ridiculous amount of jewelry that I have from that store, searching for an anklet. Unfortunately they don't actually make anklets. But he was not leaving without one. Somehow he or the nice store worker (probably a woman) came up with the idea of turning a larger bracelet into an anklet. Viola! The finishing touch was a heart charm with "S&C" engraved into it. Kinda funny foreshadowing...

When we broke up a few months later, I still wanted to wear the anklet. I mean it was sterling silver and from James Avery but I didn't want to display the heart with our initials. I mean, come on! We were in high school! No one should profess their likeness to one other thru engraved initials.

[Some people do find their soul mate in high school. And if that was you, then congratulations! Please, by all means, engrave everything you own with your initials. And then post pictures of all your stuff. Really. I want to see this. I just wasn't that person. After by brief encounter with S (not Stuart), I went on a 3 year dating relationship with G. I honestly thought this was the man I was going to spend my life with. And why not? We had met at church camp. We started dating the summer before our sophomore year. My life revolved around his football schedule. We dated for 3 years. This was it! Wrong. Shortly after graduating we broke up because we were going to different colleges. Different colleges. Are you kidding me? We had been dating for 3 years. Of course a measly couple hundred miles couldn't separate our love. Right? And thus began my year long attempt at getting us back together. Thank goodness that didn't happen!]

So I did the only humane thing: I cut off the heart charm. With scissors. It's amazing how easy it was to do this. Makes me want to go and reinforce all the charms on my charm bracelet.

That was 14 years ago.

Holy Montana.

14 years ago.

Give me a moment here to recognize how old I really am for being able to not only make that statement but also know that 14 years ago I wasn't a baby but actually in high school. Dating boys. Riding in cars with boys.

I digress. Again.

You can see now that this anklet has been part of me for a long, long time. It has only been taken off a hand full of times for surgeries and x-rays. I honestly don't even think about it. It's there. My trusty little anklet. It obviously holds not significance to the boy that gave it to me. It's just been part of me for 14 years.

Apparently Stuart didn't see my anklet in the same light that I did. I'm not even sure he knew who gave it to me. I think he thought it was from J. Hardly.

Either way, he wanted for me to take it off. And as we were sitting there bidding adieu to another fantastic season of Survivor, I did just that. I took it off for that last time and threw it away. And now it's all gone.

Divide and Conquer

I need to take care of some blog-cleaning: JW if you don't post something soon, I might just have to come to San Antonio and steal Hobo and your Guitar Hero. Serious times call for serious measures. Oh wait! I AM coming to San Antonio this weekend. You have been warned.

The pictures of that sweet little girl were of my niece. I do not have a daughter. I only have boys. Two of them to be exact. Two kids. Both boys. That's all. I do though have 3 nieces and 1 nephew, in case you were wondering.

Alright, so have I mentioned that Stuart split the boys into two rooms while I was gone? On his own accord? And then took the door off of our room to put on the playroom? I mean Tyson's room.
Well he did. All by himself. Several things come into play here: pros and cons.

Pros:

• the boys have their own space now. This is particularly important to Tyson. As he's getting bigger, we've noticed that sometimes he just needs some quiet time alone without his ever growing, tag along, body slamming, toy stealing, red-headed brother. Tucker also has his own place in which to jump, slide, and slam his body into the walls. We really need to look into padded walls.
• sleeping times have been so much better. Without each other to antagonize, the boys actually go to sleep without 2 hours of me bursting thru the doors and threatening to pull my hair out the next time one of them sneezes.
  
• um, that's all I have right now....

Cons:

• the boys have their own space now. This means DOUBLE the amount of mess. I didn't think that this was possible but now that there are two rooms to play in, there is two times the amount of stuff trailed between the doors.
  
• sleeping is different. When one brother wakes up first, it doesn't take long for that brother to go into the other brother's room and wake him up as well. Brothers!
• we only have one dresser right now. Since there are now two bedrooms, there should be two dressers. Stuart does not see the flaw in only one dresser. Apparently he hasn't been married to me long enough.
• this has totally thrown a kink in my Sunday Night Ritual. I can no longer clean the playroom once the boys have gone to sleep since there is no longer a play room. Last night we had to go thru all the toys, with the boys help, before bed. I am not saying that I don't want the boys to learn the value of cleaning up. It's just that THAT clean up time was MINE.
• we no longer have a door into our bedroom. Let me expound on this: our house is old. Really, really old. It was built in 1920. It has no doorbell because the original owners had a butler. Yeah, that old. We are only the third owners of this house. As you can imagine, things are a bit different in my house compared to modern days homes. The paneling is real wood, the A/C is under the house, we have a firewood storage next to the fireplace that resembles a coffin, all the electrical outlets were two prong, a washing machine hook-up was added sometime in 1960, converting a closet into a laundry closet, the main bathroom has no shower head, and last but not least, all the doors are custom made and therefore are all different sizes. Yup, every single one is different. This wouldn't be such a big deal had the previous owner not taken every single door down and thrown them out with the trash. Yeah, she was missing a couple of screws. So to make the playroom into Tyson's room, Stuart stole our bedroom door and maneuvered it into the frame in Tyson's room. Here's the kicker-it doesn't fit. Duh! Now, not only do I not have a door but Tyson's door doesn't close or open all the way and we still are going to have to pay way too much money to have a custom door made. Thank you Mrs. Whitaker for taking all the doors down while your husband was on a business trip and throwing them away.

So now I have to update my Sunday Night Ritual by adding Divide and Conquer. This may take just a little getting used to. And just to calm your nerves, my toenails are painted. And the dogs got a bath.

I totally missed it

I'm a bad dog mommy. I totally missed Turbo's birthday. Oops!
Turbo turned 5 on May 12. Five. F-i-v-e! I can't believe he's already that old. And look how far he's come. I remember thinking that he would never get out of the puppy stage. Those were some bad days. In fact, I wasn't even sure he was going to make it to the next day. And now I can't think of life without him.
We've been thru a lot together, moving 3 times, countless hours in the car, a broken leg, almost being put to sleep for eating an athletic sock, passing the sock and realizing you were going to live, welcoming (hesitantly) Tyson and Tucker into your home, camping at Lake Mead and the Grand Canyon, learning how to sit and shake, greeting every person who walks in our house, alerting us of foul ply outside of our house, inviting Scout into your territory and lots and lots of poop. It's been real.
Here's a brief montage to Turbo:

Happy Birthday Boy!

Catching Up

I need to make a correction. I misspelled my new cousin's name. eek!! It's Lucas Hermon Chisholm (aka Luke). Alright. Better? (His parents in no way shape or form commented on the tragic slaughter that I did to his name, I just felt the need to share that I noticed I was wrong and needed to fix it)

So it's Friday. Friday. Almost a whole week since I have blogged. Goodness. Have you missed me? I have certainly missed you. And my kids. Not so much my husband. Ha. Just kidding. I did miss him. Quite a bit actually. So let's start at the beginning of the week shall we?

Sunday was a great day for me. Stuart got up with the boys and together they brought me breakfast and Starbucks (no spills this time) in bed. Aww. The boys were just clamoring to get in bed with me, so I retreated to the table so that we could all talk without food getting on my sheets. They then presented me with cards and flowers and the boys took turns taking every.single.flower out of the vase and smelling it. Stuart's "gift" to me was that I did not have to do anything for the boys for the day. No diaper changes, no clothes changes, no preparation of meals and snacks and no sitting in the bathroom doorway while Tyson made lemonade. It was glorious! He also took me (and the boys) to dinner where I partook in some tasty adult beverages. Well, beverage. I can taste it now...

Monday I began my little blog hiatus. My cousin David and his precious wife Rachael, not to be confused with his sister Rachel, were scheduled to deliver their first child some time on Monday. At 16/17 weeks, Rachael found out the her little boy had a major heart problem and would most likely not live to term. Week after week God continued to amaze everyone as Luke continued to grow and defy the doctors. He was born on Monday evening and continues to amaze all that are around him. Luke is by no means better, or ok. He is still very, very sick. One of the valves did not form correctly or at all and thus his heart is not functioning correctly. Because of all the extra work the left side of his heart was having to do, his entire heart became very large and thus his lungs did not form properly either. Double whammy. He is currently in the NICU and will be there for some time. The doctors are waiting to see how his little body can handle being on medications before they make decisions on surgery or heart transplant. Please keep Luke and his family in your prayers. Rachael was discharged from the hospital yesterday and so now begins the daily trek to and from the hospital.

All that said, I really wanted to be in Dallas to support my cousin during this painful time. Stuart was able to take off this whole week thus allowing me to go without the kiddos. Hooray!! I mean, I love my boys but it's so nice to get a break for a couple of days and remember how to walk around without two sidekicks. Ahem.

I made it into town just after Luke was born and so my sister, BIL and I went up to the hospital to meet and greet my aunt, uncle, cousins and a few strangers who also wanted to witness the birth of this little boy. Tuesday and Wednesday were filled with much of the same-playing with Kate (my niece), feeding Kate, bathing Kate, sleeping, shopping, hospital runs, oh and watching Dancing with the Stars and American Idol (two shows which I don't personally watch since we don't get Fox or ABC). Good times!

Let me just say: I have the cutest niece in the world!

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D

Exhibit E

See?? Isn't she adorable? I LOVE her! Quick note-thanks Marci for letting me borrow your guest room, your bathroom, your towels, your food, your car, your week! I love you!

And what were my handsome three boys doing while I was gallivanting in Dallas? Good question. I know there was lots of pajama wearing. Take for example this conversation I had with Tyson this morning:

Me: Booger, what did you and daddy do while mommy was gone?
Tyson: Daddy let me stay awake till morning time!
Me: Really? {hmm, maybe I need to have a word with Stuart}
Tyson: And daddy let me wear polars bears every day (i.e. his polar bear pjs)
Me: He did!? Did daddy wash them for you everyday too?
Tyson: thinking....daddy is a naked boy at night time so I wear my polar bears every day!

Let me point out the key words-daddy is a naked boy at night time. So many thought fighting for attention!

What else you ask?
Well.
While I was away, as in not-in-the-same-city-thus-Stuart-can-make-any-and-all-decisions-without-consulting-me-and-has-no-need-to-fear-my-wrath, this wonderful man decided on his own to split the boys into separate rooms. On.his.own.

When I left my house Monday night, the boys slept in the same room. There were two beds in one room. There was one room dedicated to being a play room. There was also a door on the frame into my bedroom.

When I returned Thursday morning, the boys were sleeping in two separate rooms. There was one bed in one room. And another bed in the another room. There was one room that looked quite empty since it only housed a bed and a dresser. And another room that looked ridiculously morbid since it now carried the weight of all the boys toys AND a bed. And somehow this third room acquired a door.

Do I really need to write it out? It is NOT wise to make major decisions/changes/improvements while one's spouse is away (unless that spouse happens to be the male in which case it is perfectly legitimate for the female to make said changes). And while I am on the subject, major decisions/changes/improvements should also not be made while one is pregnant and for the first year post delivery. Just a thought.

Cleansing breath.

And did I blow up at my dear, thoughtful husband? No. But I am enjoying sliding snide remarks at him. I am still me.

But my boys are in one piece. They seem to have eaten a large amount of food as witnessed by the remains of the unorganized refidgerator and pantry. The dogs are in one piece and unfortunetly have to sleep on the floor now that I am back. The fish are alive. My house is still standing. The grass grew, thanks in part to the $100 grass seed Stuart laid down before I left.

Eveything is ok. And alive. That's kind of a biggie.

So now begins the tumultuous task of cleaning up what has been done since I have been gone. It's going to be an interesting couple of days.

Shout outs:
Aquarium vacuum-my fish might be dead if not for you since Tyson decided to help by feeding the fish (while mommy was gone).
Fresh pineapple-I could smell you all day.
Noise makers-who doesn't like to hear the gentle murmur of crickets and waves and birds and white noise?
Daddy taking off work so that mommy can leave the house for a couple of days-yeah.
My sisters-love you!

P.S. Bri-ok, the Nuva Ring, I'm not sure if it really works or not. I had only been on it for a month. I too was tired of remembering to take my pill and I was just ready for a change. I couldn't do the patch since I am sensitive to latex and I couldn't do the shot since I did want to have kids sometime in the future. So the ring seemed like the best option. Apparently we were supposed to use another form of contraception during the first month of transitioning from one method to the other. Oops! And so Tyson was conceived!

Getting ready

**UPDATE**
Luke Herman Chisholm was born this evening.
He was delivered via c-section to help ensure his safety. Weighing in at 5 lbs 10 oz, he was much bigger than expected. Luke wasn't breathing when drs delivered him and he immediately underwent tests on his heart. As for now, cardiologists are holding off on surgery and treating him with meds.
My sister and I got to see momma and she is doing remarkably well given the circumstances. My cousin, David is glad delivery is over but still very concerned for Luke. He did get to travel with the baby to the NICU and hopefully momma got to go and see him tonight as well.
Please keep this sweet family in your prayers!


It was a great Mother's Day weekend (more later) and now I am getting ready to head to Dallas for a couple of days (yay!).
Would you please say a prayer for my cousin and his wife? They are being induced today. This is their first child and first grandchild for my aunt and uncle. This baby boy also happens to be the first Chisholm boy born in awhile (my cousin was the only boy Chisholm between my dad and his brother; my dad had three girls and my uncle had two girls and one boy). He's been very sick and the dr.s aren't quite sure what's going to happen when he comes into this world.
I can't wait to see my sister, brother-in-law and sweet niece! Plus I get to see some cousins, aunt and uncle...fun times!
Here's something to pacify you while I'm gone:

We're THIS Much Closer to School

On Becoming a Mom

The journey to motherhood was quite easy and uneventful for me. Stuart and I had just celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary, we were stationed at Nellis AFB in Las Vegas, NV and we had our first dog, Turbo. Life was good. Stuart was obviously working and I had a fun job (with a not so fun boss) at the Arts & Crafts Center on base. We were quite proudly-DINKS (dual income no kids).
All off that came screaming to a halt when at the end of January I realized I was late. Let me explain a bit here: we were on birth control. No, not just a condom, but actual, prescribed by a doctor birth control-Nuva Ring to be exact. Silly me was tired of taking a pill everyday and thought that this handy little ring would help. WRONG. I had just started using it at the beginning of December and I in fact got pregnant sometime around December 15 (too much info??). I took two home pregnancy tests, both coming back positive and then got a blood test the next day. When that came back positive as well, Stuart did that right thing and bought me my first ever roses.

41 weeks and 2 days later, we sat in a private room on the L&D floor at Wilford Hall. Let's just say I was very ready to not be pregnant anymore. 18 hours after starting the pitocin, after 2 extra "bumps" to my epidural, and 2 hours and 45 minutes of pushing, this beautiful little boy was born and I was a M-O-M.

Tyson Clarence Doss
17 September 2005
9 lbs 4 oz
21.5 in

A brief nine months later, I had another one of those late months. I chalk this up to baby brain. No one in there right mind gets pregnant 9 months after delivering their first child, unless that person is me...

Apparently when you have sex, you get pregnant. Someone should have told me this!

A mere 38 weeks later, Stuart and i found ourselves in a very familiar setting. Well, except this time we were at United Regional Hospital in Wichita Falls. And we also had a 16 month old waiting at home with no idea the bomb we were about to drop on his world.

Lucky for me, Tucker decided that he wanted to make his debut a little more dramatically and after 12 hours of labor went in for a C-Section. Less than 30 minutes later, I was a M-O-M, again.

Tucker Patton Doss
1 February 2007
9 lbs 14 oz
21.5 in

Here are some things that have taken on a whole new meaning since becoming a mom:

• Showers. No longer can I sit under the very warm spray of water for 10 minutes. No longer can I take my time shaving, making sure not to cut any major arteries in my legs. No longer can I exfoliate while the steam from the shower surrounds me. Now, I'm lucky to get 5 minutes of shower time without a head poking in to say hi, no longer to I worry myself with shaving-that's why jeans were invented!, and exfoliating is now Greek to me.
• Eating. When the boys were young, I affectionately called this civilized experience-grazing. I would grab snacks in between feedings and do my best to muster up something edible for Stuart somewhere near the appropriate eating times. Now that the boys are bigger, eating is an event.
  
• Dressing. Long gone are the days of "real" clothes. "Mommy" clothes are totally the norm and they consist of t-shirts, pajama pants, yoga pants, athletic shorts, and flip-flops. Yessss.
• Decorating. When we didn't have kids, I would laugh at our friends with kids because their houses were completely over run with "kid things." I vowed to never let such a silly thing as a child get in the way of good decorating. Right. Let's just say I am all over kid friendly houses.
• Sleep. Hello!! What happened to you?
  
• Socializing. Before we had kids, we went out with friends, went camping, had people over, went to movies...ahh, those were the days. Now, I am truly frightened to leave our home. Our home is safe. It has all the boys' toys. It has diapers and wipes and extra underwear and little potties and extra clothes and I can walk around with glasses on and hair un-brushed and no bra-why would I want to leave the house?

After all the dirty diapers, all the messy hands, all the thrown food, all the melt downs from not being able to have cookies for breakfast, all the sleepless nights, all the stuff-it really just boils down to: I am a M-O-M. And there is nothing better in the world.

I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you. --Gen 28:15